A partial transcript of this week’s Treehouse Fort, featuring conference finals, how we view sports content, and the key to succeeding in this crazy sports blogging world:
Tuffy: Lima Time was abruptly halted Sunday as former major league pitcher Jose Lima passed away at the age of 37 from a heart attack. Apparently, God doesn’t mind losing so many battles with the Devil if He can have a little fun while He’s playing.
Suss: The Chicago Blackhawks swept the San Jose Sharks in the Western Conference Finals to reach the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1992, when Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews were merely toddlers. In preparation, the Blackhawks booked a Marian Hossa 12-night Alaskan cruise for the duration of the Finals.
Tuffy: The Cleveland Cavaliers fired coach Mike Brown after five seasons. LeBron James admitted no culpability in the firing, though he is selling his rights to firemikebrownandiwillconsidervisitingyourtownonceayear.com.
Suss: Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and Suns general manager Steve Kerr were both fined after publicly speaking before the July 1 free agent period that they would both be interested in signing LeBron James. In response, Clippers owner Donald Sterling said in an interview, “LeBron James is a free agent? Cool. What sport does he play?”
Tuffy: Former general manager Steve Phillips offered to trade Stephen Strasburg for Roy Oswalt on WFAN today. The Nationals owner has posted pictures of Phillips around Nationals Park and ordered all personnel to keep him away from the fax machines.
Suss: And finally, a Swiss chocolatier said that they are working on a chocolate bar that will help slow the aging process and help fight wrinkles. The patent for the candy bar has been sold to an upstart candy company called JaMarcus Russell-Stover.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
Nationals center fielder Nyjer Morgan, who spiked his glove while Adam Jones hit an inside-the-park HR
A Philadelphia Flyers fan, who displayed a stolen license plate from a Montreal sportswriter’s car
NBA referee Joe DeRosa, for chucking ball at Magic fan/CEO Franz Hanning at halftime of Game 2 between the Magic and Celtics
FOX Sports anchor Chris Myers, for mocking Katrina victims
Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez, for “pulling a Manny” and then calling out his coach after getting benched
Leicester City defender Wayne Brown, who went on a racial tirade after discussing who he voted for in UK’s elections
Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun, who was picked off after stealing second and lured into trying to steal third