A partial transcript of this week’s special Monday night edition of Treehouse Fort:
Suss: By a score of 31-17, the New Orleans Saints defeated the Indianapolis Colts for the team’s first ever Super Bowl championship. Meanwhile, outside of Orlando, the Coast Guard spotted Mickey Mouse operating a steamboat en route to Louisiana with several crates of beads.
Tuffy: Danica Patrick’s sixth-place finish in last weekend’s minor-league ARCA race, her first in stock car racing, has earned her a spot in next weekend’s Daytona Nationwide race. In celebration after the ARCA race, Patrick had three women rip open their blouses in front of her.
Suss: In other racing news, 51-year-old Mark Martin won the pole for this year’s Daytona 500. Martin is one of the favorites to win the race, especially with the grand opening of the new Bob Evans in pit row.
Tuffy: The NBA All-Star Game will be held in Cowboys Stadium near Dallas this weekend, making it the largest All-Star venue ever with 80,000 seats available. Despite the capacity, Josh Smith will not be allowed to attend.
Suss: The Pro Football Hall of Fame class of 2010 was announced this weekend. Dancing with the Stars contestants Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith were both voted in as first ballot players. In a moment of homonymic confusion, the Pro Football HOF also made a bust of Warren Sapp.
Tuffy: Speaking of past-prime Hall of Famers, The Who played the halftime show at the Super Bowl Sunday night. After the game, Roger Daltrey could be overheard complaining that their manager had failed to book them to open the Daytona Bob Evans.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
Former Hoosier/current broadcaster Todd Leary, who was charged in a multimillion-dollar fraud scheme
USC coach Lane Kiffin, for recruiting a 13-yr-old quarterback
NJ Nets center Brook Lopez, for tipping a rebound into the Celtics basket
Two female Mavericks fans, for walking into Trail Blazers’ huddle and hugging Rudy Fernandez
Brett Favre’s agent Bus Cook, fore\ mailing Favre’s injuries photos to the media
Professional poker player Phil Ivey, who reportedly lost $2 million on a Colts Super Bowl money line bet