A partial transcript of this week’s Treehouse Fort:
Tuffy: The New York Yankees bested the Philadelphia Phillies in six games to win their 27th World Series. Some found the awarding of the Series MVP to Hideki Matsui as a cynical grab for Japanese interest, but others were more outraged by the selection of Kate Hudson as most valuable team mascot over George Steinbrenner.
Suss: The Yankees were sharply criticized for the cost of their championship parade. According to sources, the confetti used during the parade was a combination of Carl Pavano’s contract and copies of Joe Torre’s book, which were all autographed by Carl Pavano.
Tuffy: Allen Iverson, apparently disappointed by his role in Memphis, has left the Grizzlies with no indication if or when he will return. When asked what role he would prefer with the team, he answered, “Blanche DuBois.”
Suss: The Onion Sports Network will an air half-hour pilot on Comedy Central based on their mock Internet sportscasts. Experts say this is an attempt by Comedy Central to venture into shows that are actually funny.
Tuffy: Jimmie Johnson crashed almost immediately after the start of Sunday’s Texas race, making his nearly insurmountable NASCAR Sprint Cup lead surmountable again with two races left after today. NASCAR attempted to speak to the first-time Sprint Cup driver that caused the crash with Johnson, but Winston Wolf was nowhere to be found.
Suss: And finally, the reigning Miss England gave up her pageant crown after it was learned she was in a fistfight at a nightclub with another beauty pageant contestant over the weekend. Rachel Christie apologized and said with more free time on her hands, she’ll likely accept the scholarship offer to play soccer at University of New Mexico.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
CBS announcer Gus Johnson – saying of Titans RB Chris Johnson: “He’s got getting away from the cops speed.”
adidas, for canceling a six-year, $3 million deal with University of Central Florida after Michael Jordan’s son Marcus wore Air Jordans to an exhibition game
University of Florida LB Brandon Spikes – attempting to gouge eyes of a Georgia running back
Chicago Bears DT Tommie Harris, ejected for throwing punch at Arizona player
New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert – suspended for roughing up BYU players
St. Peter’s, Monmouth, Drexel, and Niagara, for agreeing to play games at 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. so ESPN can air 24 straight hours of college basketball