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THF: Playoffs Heal All Wounds, Even Self-Inflicted

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A partial transcript of this week’s Treehouse Fort:

Suss: At the US Open, Serena Williams was disqualified from her semifinal match against Kim Clijsters during her opponents match point when she yelled and threatened a baseline official. Now that Kim Clijsters beat both Williams sisters, one fairly, and one via a tantrum, Richard Williams invited Clijsters over to watch the Giants game.

Tuffy: YOU LIE!

Suss: What?

Tuffy: YOU LIE!

Suss: No, it’s true. Multiple news outlets reported it.

Tuffy: Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. Please continue.

Suss: After scoring a touchdown, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb reportedly cracked some ribs and will miss up to four games. Federal officials then seized Michael Vick’s voodoo doll of McNabb, which was lying next to a copy of Madden NFL ’10.

Tuffy: YOU LIE!

Suss: (sigh) Tuffy…

Tuffy: YOU LIE! I swear to God I’ll (BEEP) take this script and shove it down your (BEEP) throat!

Suss: And finally, a recent study showed television has a significant effect on behavior and mortality for people of all ages.

Tuffy: Are you sure? That sounds like a lie.

Suss: There’s really only one way to find out, Tuffy… are you ready for some Treehouse Fort?

Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”

Serena Williams, for yelling/cursing/threatening line judge on a controversial call at the U.S. Open

Jerry Jones, for (opening his big mouth yet again) getting fined $100K for violating gag order on NFL labor issues – publicly discussing revenue sharing.

77-year-old boxing promoter Bob Arum, for saying MMA/UFC is full of “nothing but skinheads” and homosexual behavior

Russian chess player Vladislav Tkachiev, coming to chess tourney in India drunk and falling asleep during it

OC Register sports columnist Mark Whicker, for trivializing kidnap victim Jaycee Dugard’s plight in his column

Manchester City soccer player Sheyi Emmanuel Adebayor, for deliberately kicking former Arsenal teammmate Robin van Persie when he was down

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About Suss

  • What about Linehaeart from the Columbus Crew, who kicked a dude in the nuts during a tiff?