THF: Lull

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A partial transcript of this week’s Treehouse Fort:

Suss: In the Australian Open, Roger Federer beat Andy Murray in three sets for his 16th career Grand Slam. Murray’s loss extends the British drought of Grand Slam events without a championship since 1936, a curse that notably began when the Brits traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees in exchange for rookie prospect Neville Chamberlain.

Tuffy: Ball.

Suss: Baseball card company Upper Deck settled with Konami Entertainment for $2 million after it printed and sold over 600,000 unauthorized Yu-Gi-Oh! trading cards. In other news, Konami said it would halt production of posters of Upper Deck CEO Richard McWilliam drinking out of a coffee mug that visibly said “Fuck Face.”

Tuffy: Gall!

Suss: John Daly denied earlier reports that he was retiring from golf. Daly says it wouldn’t be the same if he stopped playing golf altogether rather than play one and a half rounds and THEN withdrawing.

Tuffy: Withdrawal?

Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”

Greg Oden, for being the latest athlete to take pictures of his junk

Southeast Missouri state football player Brett Jones, for burglary/assault of a man asleep on his couch

Chris Terry, for quadruple charges of dealing coke, driving without a permit, resisting arrest, and a DUI

Bengals linebacker Rey Maualuga, for drinking and driving (after six Captain and Cokes), and hitting two parked cars and a parking meter)

Nike, for their Kobe-LeBron “chamber” ad

Ex-Cardinals cornerback Eric Green, for allegedly sodomizing a transgendered New Yorker

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