This week on the Treehouse Fort, we talk World Cup, the Chicago Blackhawks, and Tom Izzo. Please, no throwing of objects.
Tuffy: The Chicago Blackhawks secured their first Stanley Cup in nearly five decades with a win in Game 6. Reached from the Great Beyond, former owner Bill Wirtz expressed pride in the organization, noting that the team even managed to black out Blackhawks fans from seeing Game 7 at home.
Suss: Conference realignment rocked the college football world as the Big XII lost two schools for the 2011 season. Nebraska left for the Big Ten and Colorado will join the Pac-10. If their Texas schools join the SEC, as is being rumored, the Big XII championship will go back to its old name, the Dust Bowl.
Tuffy: Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert stated again this week that free agent LeBron James is not making decisions for his franchise. Michigan State coach Tom Izzo, reportedly offered the Cavaliers’ coaching job this week, reportedly replied, “He may not be making decisions for you, but he is for me. This contract stays unsigned until James is.”
Suss: A local Washington DC boy made news when a piece of his French toast displayed the face of Stephen Strasburg. Critics are dismissing the semblance, saying it looks more like Mark Fidrych.
Tuffy: The US and England tied 1-1 in their highly-anticipated opening match of the World Cup on Saturday. To make up for the unpalatable tied result, ABC immediately called in Michael Bay to blow up stuff for 45 minutes under an Aerosmith soundtrack.
Suss: And finally, Denny Hamlin won for the fifth time in 10 races at the Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dip 400 in Michigan. Hamlin plans to use his trophy to dip his Tostitos Scoops 500 trophy into.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
• Greek basketball Olympiakos fans, pelting opposing team with flares/bottles during championships game, causing forfeit
• College wrestler Tyler Wilfley, arrested for throwing vomit-filled condoms at police
• Seahawks WR Golden Tate, entering apartment cafe during off hours and stealing maple bars
• England keeper Robert Green, allowing easy goal against Clint Dempsey/USA
• Youth hockey coach Ronald Synan, attacking 15-year-old player who received a penalty for hitting his son
• Rwandan football president Jean Bosco Kazura, leaving Rwanda to attend World Cup without permission