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THF: Chins Shaved In Lieu Of Points

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A partial transcript of this week’s Treehouse Fort, featuring Maureen Fulton of the Toledo Blade and BC’s own Jay Skipworth.

Suss: Calvin Borel became the first jockey to win the first two legs of the Triple Crown on two different horses, Derby winner Mine That Bird and Preakness winner Rachel Alexandra. The record for most different horses ridden in a year still belongs to Jenna Jameson.

Tuffy: The Houston Rockets and Orlando Magic have the opportunity to knock out two popular teams in Los Angeles and Boston respectively with unlikely Game 7s Sunday. If both teams should win, Commissioner Stern will immediately relocate both teams to southern Ontario.

Suss: A woman is accusing Anaheim Ducks general manager Bob Murray of hitting her with a barstool after the Ducks Game 7 Western Conference semifinal loss to the Detroit Red Wings. Onlooking referees who saw the fight unfold did not intervene until the woman fell to the ground.

Tuffy: Those Detroit Red Wings will meet the young insurgent Chicago Blackhawks in the Western Conference Finals. In an effort to recall the glory days of the NHL with these two Original Six franchises, the league has mandated the entire series will not be on broadcast television. However, you can still listen on the radio. For the young in the listening audience, a ‘radio’ is the thing in your car you hook your iPod up to.

Suss: When asked on the radio if he had ever taken steroids, Shaquille O’Neal said he only ate Frosted Flakes, calling it “performance enhancing cereal.” This just in, Yahoo! Sports released a series of phone records indicating O’Neal’s trainer was contacted several times by David Ortiz, Mo Vaughn, Glen Davis, and the Trix Rabbit. Silly rabbit; tricks are for athletes!

Tuffy: And finally, Ryan Zimmerman’s 30-game hitting streak ended this week. He dedicated the streak to each of the 30 fans in attendance every game at Nationals Park.

Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”

Chad Johnson, misspelling his new legal name “Ocho Cinco” as one-word

Luke McCown, calling himself THE Bucs starting QB

Mark Cuban, telling Kenyon Martin’s mom his son is a “thug” after Game 3 of the Western Conference semifinals

NHL’s Colin Campbell, for rescinding the automatic one-game suspension to Scott Walker of the Carolina Hurricanes, who sucker-punched Aaron Ward in Game 5 against the Bruins

Dwight Howard, for second-guessing his head coach Stan Van Gundy in public after the Magic’s Game 5 loss to Celtics

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