This week on the Treehouse Fort:
Suss: In a stunning upset, Field won the 2010 Masters over Tiger Woods. Field overcame several bogeys, double bogeys, and even one withdrawal. Despite half of Field missing the cut, they were able to buckle down and hit some key eagles on the weekend to close out the tournament. When asked after the tournament, Tiger said, “I guess I was just outnumbered.”
Tuffy: The Minnesota Twins opened Target Field Monday with a 5-2 win over the Boston Red Sox, who promptly jammed the box score in a new box and tried to return it to another Target.
Suss: A planned demolition of the Dallas Cowboys former arena Texas Stadium was scheduled for this morning, but instead blew up Sunday after Leon Lett tripped over the detonator.
Tuffy: The Pittsburgh Steelers traded Santonio Holmes to the New York Jets for a fifth-round pick last weekend when it became apparent a four-game suspension for violating the NFL substance abuse policy would come down. Steelers fans were incensed to hear about their player who was constantly in trouble with the law, accused of assaulting women, and inappropriate public comments. And then they found out someone besides their quarterback was doing the same thing.
Suss: After guiding his team to the national championship game, Butler University basketball coach Brad Stevens signed a 12-year extension. Stevens said with the money he’s getting, he can finally quit his paper route.
Tuffy: Finally, Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia took a no-hitter into the eighth inning Sunday, where he promptly drowned it in mustard and consumed it.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
Washington Wizards forward Andray Blatche, for doing everything humanly possible to record a triple double at the end of the game
Milwaukee Bucks center Dan Gadzuric, who stopped during the game to tie his shoe, wasting a possession on offense
Penn State sophomore kicker Anthony Fera, for drinking rum on campus and getting cited
MLB umpire Joe West, for speaking out about the length of Sox/Yankees games
Slovenian hockey team Acroni Jesenice, for beating up their coach with wooden traffic signs after winning the championship
Twin boxers Travis and Tarvis Simms, for getting into a fight with each other, injuring their daughter in the process