Bad boys will be bad boys. From an NFL star to a retired baseball player-turned announcer, men are behaving badly. Here we go.
Michael Vick/Ron Mexico. In case you haven’t been following the story, in the spring of 2003 when the flowers were blooming and love was in the air, Michael Vick of the Atlanta Falcons completed a pass and convinced a sweet young southern lass to engage in some good old-fashioned unprotected sex. The problem is that after this interlude of love and passion, the southern belle in question tested positive for some you’ll-have-it-for-eternity herpes.
Being quite displeased that her romp with a famous jock resulted in her receiving a gift that will keep on giving, this formerly star-crossed young lady decided to file suit against Michael Vick. During this process, we’ve learned that Vick used the nickname “Ron Mexico” when seeking treatment for his condition. Well on Monday April 24 Michael Vick/Ron Mexico settled the lawsuit, although the terms of this settlement were not released to the public. That’s probably a good thing since I’m sure that now NFL fans won’t be able to taunt Vick this season since the details of the settlement are being kept private. I mean, that kind of info could be embarrassing to a guy if it got out. Right?
If Mike had just visited Amazon.com and done a search on “herpes” and learned to talk about his condition, perhaps he wouldn’t be in this predicament. But I’m sure Vick will easily be able to recoup whatever financial loss he may suffer as a result of this settlement if he seeks out an endorsement deal with the folks who manufacture Valtrex, the genital herpes treatment and from condom manufacturers. However, he’ll never be able to get back on board the “Pro Athlete Tookie Train.”
Reggie Bush. There’s a scandal brewing around the potential number one pick in this year’s NFL draft that involves his parents and stepbrother living in a San Diego home that has ties to an agent who was trying to represent Reggie Bush. Damage control experts in the Bush camp are trying to make it seem like there’s nothing wrong with the arrangement where Bush’s mom, stepfather and stepbrother lived in an $800,000, brand new home that was owned by an agent who was trying to represent Reggie Bush. So of course nothing is wrong. They keep saying it, so it must be true. Which is why – as reporters were basically ringing the doorbell to ask the family questions about the arrangement – Bush’s family moved out.
This has nothing to do with Bush’s future and everything to do with saving the reputation of USC. Pete Carroll and company have done everything in their power to restore the luster to the Trojans’ program. “The Boys From So Cal” can ill-afford this kind of negative publicity and the even more negative probationary penalties or retroactive penalties, like forfeited games. Something stinks here… let’s see who picks up the trail and find where it leads.
Ron Artest. This career idiot got himself into hot water again and got himself suspended from the Sacramento Kings second, first round game because he lost his cool and threw a punch during the Kings’ first, first round game. Of course the usual responses ensued, blaming the suspension on Artest’s reputation while ignoring his actual behavior. Fellow idiot and teammate Bonzi Wells said that given Artest’s past “they’re going to look for a way to get him.”
I guess given that he goes by the name Bonzi he must have a childlike view of the world, but someone needs to clue Bonzi in that Artest’s “past” or his “reputation” didn’t throw the punch, the person did. And of course Artest himself made the statement that many things in his career have been “unfair.” The league will be much better off when this guy is gone.
Keith Hernandez. It’s 2006 and the former Cardinal and Met star still doesn’t think that a women’s place is in a Major League dugout, and he even says so during a Met broadcast – pun intended. How out of touch can a guy be? And also how wrong. It might be weird for an old school guy like Hernandez to get used to the idea that these days there are female members of a team’s training staff, and that these women are entitled to be in their team’s dugout. He might even have a tougher time understanding that the players might not even mind having a woman in the dugout. But that’s what he should say, and not “I won’t say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don’t belong in the dugout.” Someone needs to tell Keith that his guest shot on Seinfeld was almost 15 years ago and that he can stop playing himself now.
That’s it for now. But just remember that by the time the Post gets their next lame version of “The Rumble” printed, you’ll have had at least three top-quality versions of “The Ramble.”