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The Muzak Is Driving Me Batty

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It seems the Muzak at work was turned up in the past couple of weeks. I happen to sit directly beneath a speaker and get more than my fill of Kenny G, Bee Gees, and other sorry excuses for music. Perhaps I’m being too picky. The musician in me won’t let me tune out the abrasively bland songs coming out of the speaker above my head.

Someone, please, make it stop.

I’ve even asked everyone in my area for their input and they wholeheartedly agreed: the Muzak has to go.

On the other hand, there are disadvantages to getting the Muzak turned off. For example:

1. A nearby woman is an admitted Bee Gees fan, much to everyone’s amusement. When the Bee Gees came on the other day, I ran over to her cube, pointed to the ceiling, and proclaimed in a whisper loud enough for everyone else to hear, “Check it out, the Bee Gees are on!” We all had a good laugh.

2. Supertramp came on, and I, aware of one of my teammate’s affinity for 70’s-era rock, leisurely walked by his cube and notified him of the song. He opened a drawer and gleefully pulled out a Supertramp album. I happened to have the same one on vinyl. That was enough to cause a belly laugh or two.

3. “The Long and Winding Road” came on last week. I commented to my cube neighbor, a 50-something retired Air Force Squadron Commander, on the excellent (and rare) Muzak choice. We spent a few minutes talking Beatles and bonded over the magnificence of “Hey Jude.”

Such distractions from work are welcome and entertaining.

Regardless, the Muzak has to go. It disturbs more than it pleases. So I tried to do the politically correct thing and pursue the proper channels to get it turned off or at least turned down. I’ve encountered roadblock after roadblock and am ready to give up. But there is one individual I have yet to get a response from: a nearby secretary apparently has the final say over the Muzak. She’s on vacation. I’ve emailed her and dropped by her cube a few times, waiting for her glorious return. When she resumes her post, I will kindly ask for her to see about getting the Muzak turned off. Wish me luck.

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