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The Moron and the Advertisement

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Dear Collette Clairmont,

You madam, are an idiot. Not just a normal idiot of course. No, you’re a special kind of idiot: The type of idiot who shelters their children from everything in the world, causing them to have nightmares about the Pillsbury Doughboy at age 33. You’re the type of idiot who seeks national exposure to get into the spotlight through absurd circumstances. Of course, you choose video games since you don’t have the smarts to find another way to do it.

Let’s make this perfectly clear from the start. You have done the brave task of protecting your young child from a piece of plastic on the side of a bus. Real brave act. Someone, please give this women a medal! Instead of the taking the proper action a real parent would have and quickly teach your children early on about the differences between reality and fantasy, you made your ridiculous stand.

You have managed to stretch the truth and indicated a form of the advertisement shows the character holding a gun (which of course he doesn’t). Either you are horribly confused, or just used this to falsely enhance your claim. You have stated that this is sending the wrong message to kids; you won’t allow them to have a butter knife. Good for you! It’s about time you did something right. However, I highly doubt a 4-year old will get the idea to carry a machete around his neighborhood during playtime from the side of a bus. No, ideas like that come from years of bad parenting, kind of like yours actually.

Let me ask you this: If your child comes to you one day and said he’s scared of using the potty because “there are monsters in there,” will you let him use diapers the rest of his life? No normal parent would. I’m beginning to believe you are the polar opposite. Last time I checked, kids who are treated like this end up stuffing dead people in their freezers. That’s how THEY make the news….just like mommy!

See, you wonder why kids end up in jail these days. It’s not because of an advertisement on the side of a bus. It’s because of you. They grow up watching Looney Tunes and one day decide to throw their friend Johnny over a cliff, thinking he’ll spring back like that coyote they seen on TV. Hey, you failed miserably; never telling them it wasn’t real. Why would he think otherwise? You madam, are the perfect example of why this society is slowly crumbling, not the ad.

Thank you,

Matt Paprocki

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About Matt Paprocki

Matt Paprocki has critiqued home media and video games for 13 years and is the reviews editor for Pulp365.com. His current passion project is the technically minded DoBlu.com. You can read Matt's body of work via his personal WordPress blog, and follow him on Twitter @Matt_Paprocki.
  • http://macaronies.blogspot.com Mac Diva

    To those wondering, this entry still makes no sense after reading the linked material.

  • Adam Bloom

    Eh? It makes perfect sense to me.

  • http://copygodd.blogspot.com copygodd

    makes sense to me. as does matt’s calling her a moron.

  • http://macaronies.blogspot.com Mac Diva

    Then, why hasn’t anyone articulated what is being said? I mean with a subject, verb, and direct object. A blog entry should be clear. Calling one’s friends to say what is unclear is clear does not make it so.

  • SFC SKI

    It is hard as a parent to raise kids in the face of advertising, but this woman definitely has some issues, I am surprised she leaves the house at all.

  • Adam Bloom

    MD: Woman shelters child. Child is scared by sword. Woman complains to the city. Child remains sheltered.

  • Shark

    What boy doesn’t want to see a picture of a guy with a sword? It’s part of our DNA.

    –Oh, wait, the kid’s name is “Tristan.”

    Well that explains it. He wants his Isolde dolly.

    BTW: Lately, MacDiva has been on a mission to tell everybody on BC how badly they write (between explaining how she’s a lawyer, a journalist, and knows a lot of really smart famous people who think she’s smart and should be famous).

    Apparently, her inferiority complex is acting up again.

  • http://www.iamrighturpie.blogspot.com/ jadester

    granted, the kid’s reaction is kinda OTT, and most likely down to the parent(s?), but then, this blog entry is kinda an OTT response. And that’s exactly what someone like the kid’s mother wants (well, the media wnat it more, otherwise the likes of the Daily Mail and The Sun wouldn’t try to use sensationalist headlines on their front page all the time)

  • http://www.breakingwindows.com Matt Paprocki

    Mac: This is what is called “writing in a fit of rage.” Pin-point grammar was hardly my main concern here like it would be in a review. My point was made, the women got what she deserved, end of story.

  • devon

    a week or so before the lord of the rings three was in theaters, you couldn’t watch tv for ten minutes without seeing an ad with sharp swords, ugly orcs and dragon things that crush horses. those ads seem to me much more diserving of nightmares.
    (their is a big hole in that point: she probably doesn’t let her kids watch tv for the exceptionally long time of ten minues)
    now matt, you seem to believe that bad parenting makes idiots, so logicly she being an idiot would have to have had bad parents. after reading the atical from ps2.ing, i have come to the conclusion that she was neglected child. so she thinks “i’m no not going to make the same mistake my parents did” and bows down to every whine of her children.
    now, kids are not stupid, did she ever think that maybe her kid wasn’t really scared? maybe he simply didn’t wont to ride the bus? or maybe he just wonted to see his mom screem at the bus driver for some reason? or maybe the kid was in bed when his parents were fighting, the kid thinks “how can i stop this?” and then he rembers the undivided attention he got (from his mom) after he got scared of the ad. so he runs into the living room crying about a nightmare, his parents forget about their fight, and for him it’s “mission accomplished”?
    of course she didn’t. because people like her are not self aware, AT ALL, they think that their view on parenting is perfect and nothing but ALLLLLOOOTT of therapey can change that.

    that is all