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The Matrix Revolutions

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Al writes… I guess all the chat has died down over Matrix Revolutions now, high time we waded in with some poorly sketched comments and jokes about the sci-fi trilogy, like every other critic out there. I think Stephen alluded to this earlier, but you could smell the backlash coming for Revolutions. After Reloaded didn’t explain the meaning of the universe like people expected it was just the signal needed for critics and fanboys to start dusting down their chosen bon mots…”The Revolution Is Dead!” “Revolution With A Whimper” blah, blah, blah. I liked it. Just couldn’t help myself, liked it from start to finish. I’m not saying I was blind and would have enjoyed the final part, no matter what happened. But I was entertained, I was left asking questions (mainly, “you answered nothing!”), and I was surprised – you can’t ask much more from a movie really.

People say there wasn’t enough ‘Matrix-stuff’ in Revolutions, I was glad about that. Don’t know about you, but all Reloaded’s slow-mo, acrobatic kung-fu started to bore me after a while – especially when there was no point to the fighting, like Neo taking on hundreds of Smith’s when he could have flown off whenever or the Oracle’s bodyguard throwing down with Keanu. Please – you know who he is, don’t fight just because it’ll get the fanboys snorting “cool” into their jumbo cokes.

And it was Kay-nu’s finest hour! The man emoted like never before, all underneath a mass of eyeball swaddling – and while you tried to not snigger at how over-the-top Trinity’s impaling was. “Shall we have one random spike? Nah, let’s have five!” I don’t think I’ve seen someone so thoroughly impaled since Cliffhanger. Those hovercrafts obviously weren’t checked out in crash scenario’s, or someone would have noticed all the friggin’ sharp objects that were usually left jutting around. “It’s funny, the five seconds after a crash seem the most dangerous..”

And two Zion-spods saw the sun. Not exactly how we predicted way back when, but there nonetheless. Also, if the machines can’t fly above a certain distance, as seemed apparent when Neo and Trinity made a break through the clouds, then the obvious next move for the humans in this time of peace is to build a cloud-city, a la Bespin, right above the machine city. Get their new-found machine buddies to help out! “Uh, you really need to build this right above us?” “Yeah, we like the view – could you hand me that bomb – I mean, you’re the bomb for helping out, could you hand me that kettle?” “The one that’s ticking?” “That’s right.”

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