For some time now, I've had this little ritual. On Friday mornings I attach special significance to the first CD that I play. Don't know why. It seems like a mini-commentary (in my head) on how things are going for me. Maybe it's that I'm psyched to be at the end of a good week..the end of a bad one..or the start of a (hopefully) good weekend. This has never been completely clear to me. So a while back I started posting these selections on my website as "The Friday Morning Listen".
I wrote those words on March 21, 2003. It was only my 28th post to Blogcritics. Five years later, and I'm still here. Five years of Fridays, yakkin' about that first record of the weekend. Honestly, I didn't think it would go on for so long. But there have been some changes that I just could not have foreseen. Most of those changes have come from inside of me.
See, it's like this. I never really started this blogging thing with any intention of becoming a writer. Truth be told, I was never very good at it. College, high school, grade school…any assignment that involved putting together more than a paragraph and I'd get that face like the kids in the movie A Christmas Story. Their teacher wants them to write "a theme" and…"ewwwweeeee!" That was me.
That was me. I try not to make that face anymore.
I guess it was those twenty-something years post-college, ingesting book after magazine article after Internet post — somehow, that activity made the right brain parts click into place. Even though I had some things to say about music, it wasn't like I came out of the gate an instant Lester Bangs. No, it all felt a little weird and it was hard to shake off the timidity.
And then…somebody would refer to me as a "writer." It was embarrassing. Me? C'mon, you're kidding me, right? It took several more years to grow into it. One day though, it felt just about as comfortable (and necessary!) as breathing and eating. I began to think that maybe I'd wasted a couple of decades as my true calling had finally made itself known.
All of these internal changes transpired during the lifetime of this weekly column. Initial entries were very sparse and sometimes even a little cryptic. I began to realize that music informed many more areas of my life and started to open up more, writing about work, relationships, and a host of other topics. It really took on a life of its own. Five years! How did that happen?
My pre-writing self could never have imagined writing at all, never mind contributing to Blogcritics, fashioning relationships with publicists, sifting through review material, being asked to write for jazz.com…none of it.
So what does the future hold? Lot's of things. This column isn't going away any time soon, and maybe there will be a Friday Morning Listen, The Book. We'll see.
In any event, I sincerely hope you've enjoyed the reading, because I've had a blast with the writing.