Leaving politics aside, it seems that the two topics most likely to squeeze some extra ignorance juice out of the blogosphere are a) The Dixie Chicks and b) Heavy Metal music. Since the Chicks have had their fair share of late, lets move on to the music that our parents just loved to hate.
I'm in the middle of reading Chuck Klosterman's Fargo Rock City: A Heavy Metal Odyssey in Rural North Dakota. Klosterman spins up a memoir of his youth and love of all things Hair Metal. Truly funny stuff. While discussing what the lyrics to "Shout At The Devil" really mean, he speculates on Tommy Lee's true intent: "In exchange for letting me sleep with some of the sexiest women in television history, I will act like a goddamn moron in every social situation for the rest of my life."
There's one particular chapter where Klosterman deals with the idea that maybe, just maybe, you don't really need every record in your collection. Many years after "the day," is there really any point in owning (his example, not mine) Iron Maiden's The Best Of The Beast? He then comes up with an interesting twist/inversion of the Desert Island concept. It's called the "Jack Factor." This is the amount of money that somebody would have to pay you in order for you to never listen to a record again for the rest of your life. A neat combination of the Desert Island idea, guilty pleasures, and commerce. Your guilty pleasures, in theory, would have a pretty low Jack Factor…unless, of course, you like them much more than you're willing to admit.
The author's Jack Factor list went from Van Halen's 1984 (Jack Factor: $66) to Def Leppard's Pyromania (Jack Factor: $877) to the most hallowed Appetite For Destruction (Guns 'n Roses) coming in at a Jack Factor of $5001.
Personally, I can't do these kind of calculations. There are very few records in my collection that I'd be able to give up. Oh sure, it's easy to say that I don't really need that copy of, say, Aerosmith's Rock In A Hard Place. But years later, my urge to listen to "Lightning Strikes" would begin to eat away at me like a musical cancer. Forget it, I want 'em all!
However, in the spirit of fun and discussion, I will now post a list of rock and pop records (don't go near my jazz albums…don't even look at them!) that, if you saw them in my bins, you might begin to question my credibility, sanity, or taste. I will not comment on any of them. That's your job.
- Destroyer – Kiss
- Abandoned Luncheonette – Hall & Oates
- Head Games – Foreigner
- Metal Health – Quiet Riot
- Glass Houses – Billy Joel
- Let There Be Music – Orleans
- Colour By Numbers – Culture Club
- Vision Quest – Movie Soundtrack
- Gene Simmons – Gene Simmons
- Open Up and Say…Ahh! – Poison
There now. Anybody else wanna 'fess up?