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The Fallen Ones Sci-Fi Channel Original Review

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With a title like the Fallen Ones, you’re probably expecting a documentary on World War II. Maybe you’re imagining a movie about past and deceased baseball players. Would you guess it’s a movie about a 42-foot tall mummy that eats people? Could you possibly guess it’s the best 42-foot mummy that eats people movie ever? Well, it is, and even if it doesn’t sound like it, that means something.

The difference between this and the other Sci-Fi Channel dreck is that it knows it’s ridiculous. It has a sense of humor about itself and runs with it. The only thing it’s missing is some pacing to keep it moving.

Laughs are both intentional and unintentional. The opening moments are hideously bad, seemingly using special effects techniques from 1962 to make a man appear as a giant. It all tells the back-story about a fallen angel that came to Earth to mate with a human women, in the process creating the giant that causes all these problems in the present day.

It takes forever to get to the good stuff, which is of course the giant mummy rampage. It plays out like a low budget version of a summer popcorn flick, complete with the wisecracking sidekick and cheap one-liners. It’s all so stupid, yet so entertaining. The special effects are way above average; the giant mummy is actually pulled off in a way that it almost seems believable… almost.

Getting to that point is going to require some patience. You’ll tolerate most of the performances, including Tom Bosley as a likeable Rabbi and Casper Van Dien as the lead. Unfortunately, even with some bible connections and a few jokes strewn around, it’s just not much fun until the last 20-minutes or so. While it does make up for a lot of lost ground with the finale, it’s tough to forget the fact that you’ve just sat through 70-minutes of uselessness. Not even the epic-like music (likely culled from other sources) can dilute your thoughts.

The Fallen Ones isn’t a great movie, but on the Sci-Fi Channel scale, it fares pretty well for itself. It may even be one of their best. It’s a little unique and a little clichéd at the same time, but don’t let that take you out of it. It’s well worth fast forwarding through it you have to, though the payoff seems better if you make it all the way through.

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About Matt Paprocki

Matt Paprocki has critiqued home media and video games for 13 years and is the reviews editor for Pulp365.com. His current passion project is the technically minded DoBlu.com. You can read Matt's body of work via his personal WordPress blog, and follow him on Twitter @Matt_Paprocki.
  • janeyolen

    Glad there was some payoff at the end. I bailed out early, embarrassed for everyone attached to the film.

    The original premise intrigued me because way back in college in the Cretaceous Period!) I wrote a poem based on the same Biblical sentence:”The sons of God saw the daughters of man that they were fair.”

    Blech.

    Jane

  • dara

    Are you freaking kidding me that review? This movie is HORRIBLE!!!! Do you know the director or something? Is Casper your cousin? What was up with the purple guys just coming out of nowhere? How freaking weird was that? And, hello, how did the “mummy driver” re-appear at the end after we saw him go crashing over a cliff? How the HELL did this movie get funded? Why did Tom Bosley do it? After all those years on Happy Days, the poor guy has to add this piece of crap to his resume? Although, I will say, Tom did what he could. And poor Robert Wagner. There should be a support group for these guys because seeing the film was surely a traumatic experience for them. With all this said, I do believe this is one of the Sci-Fi Channel’s better movies. And that is a very sad, sad thing. At least I made it to the end, with the help of my fast forward button. And, I was so shocked at how bad this movie was, that I went searching for reviews. So, it had some impact. As for the sponsors who filled the commercial blocks, they should get a refund! I’m betting this movie turned away quite a few people. Well, at least it was better than The Bone Snatcher. That was a snoozer. Has no one thought to fire the people responsible for picking the Sci-Fi Channel’s movies? It seriously makes me want to stop watching the channel. Is there some kind of award for the worst television movies ever made. Sci-Fi should win.

  • http://www.breakingwindows.com Matt Paprocki

    See, you said it yourself. This was one of Sci-Fi’s better flicks. When you review them each week, that’s what you’re comparing them to. Fallen Ones worked for all its absurdity simply because it knew how much it sucked. You’re looking for logic flaws in a movie about a 50-foot tall mummy. Think about that.

  • mackjones

    this is a master piece