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The Duke On The Alleged Edited Version Of St. Anger

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What it is, is that on account of The Duke so adores Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster, I figured I’d give Metallica’s St Anger another chance. Come on, St Anger, I found myself saying. I’m sorry I laughed and laughed at you, and pointed, and wrote down all the hilariously shitty lyrics so as I could laugh without even having to listen to you, which was preferable, all being told. Come on, I said. Jump onto the old iPod right here, and let me hear you afresh.

You’d think it’d be grateful for The Duke’s generosity. You’d think St Anger would have gotten its act together, like a kid who maybe spits on the back of another kid’s head, and the teacher says about look, I’m not gonna tell your parents that you spat on Michael’s head, because I believe you’re a good lad at heart, but you better behave yourself, is what.

That kid would be so grateful that the teacher approached him on a human-to-human basis that he’d never again let phlegm fly from his face in the direction of a nearby bowl-cut. He’d be the best motherfucking student ever walked.

This St Anger, though, it just wants to taunt The Duke. Ha, it says, ha ha ha. You sucker, is what you are. You think I give a shit that you gave me the kinda chance few would even contemplate? Like the hairy fucks of Rome I care, is what.

So, I did what any man would do. I set about making St Anger listenable.

Over the next few weeks, or at least until The Man shuts his ass down, it has been alleged that Somebody may well be Tampering with A Certain Record, maybe making songs called things like Tantric or Santic or whatever half-the-length, maybe shredding the hell out of verses fit only to be mocked.

Maybe A Certain Spot On The Web-Net will play host to such antics, one track a week, until a Listenable Version Of A Certain Record is out there in the ether.

It sounds like the actions of a madman to me.

Thanks folks.

The Duke resides at Mondo Irlando

About The Duke

  • http://faeryface.diaryland.com Katharine Donelson

    Now its possible this is just the merlot talking, but that’s brilliant.

  • http://www.thebeautifullull.com Tom Johnson

    Awesome, Duke, this sounds great! Looking forward to hearing the rest.

    On a technical note, I did find a tiny skip in the track at about 2:18.

    Have you heard the remix/edit of “Some Kind of Monster” that they released in conjunction with the film last year? It’s far superior to the album version. You might want to check it out, for ideas and such.

  • Eric Olsen

    Lars will come to your house and personally testify against the perfidy of tampering with ART, then “borrow” the new mixes for himself

  • http://www.mondoirlando.com Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    katherine and tom, glad you liked it. Katherine, i hope you remembered to eat some bread or something for to soak it up and so on.

    Tom, thanks for the heads up on the glitch. The annoying thing is, that’s not even one of my edits! Not that i edited it in the first place… I think probably folks who know the song well will notice the difference most. Maybe that’s a good thing, though. There’s a good two minutes slashed out of it.

    Eric, this worries me, but there’s an email link on the site and so on and an invitation to tell me to quit it right the hell now. I wonder what’s worse; this here, which is tampering with a copywrited work, or offering the copywrited (copywritten?) work as is. At least this way, you still gotta get the album to hear it properly. All this is, is somebody’s experiment on account of they felt the songs were too long and therefore less effective than they could be…

    Oh, and Tom, i knew that there was a soundtrack EP thingy, but i wasn’t aware that the track was re-edited and so on. I’ll check that out…

  • Alan Lyall

    This is the end of Metallica as we know it because they are STILL looking for that new sound they promise us back in 2000. St Anger was not what they said it would be so as a fan I felt cheated because after there long disappearing act I thought we were in for treat. I woke up at the crake of dawn to get the new album some of it is good but over all I just felt left down I’m sorry if you think I’m being to hard but I have tried to defined St Anger but I can’t lie about any more. I’m still Loyal Metallica fan I’m just tired of being disappointed. I think they will get it right next time.