Home / The Adventures of What’s-His-Name, Part 3

The Adventures of What’s-His-Name, Part 3

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The students were like zombies after that. They listened to anything that super-human socialist told them. The TV thing was now off, and he was giving orders for everyone to empty their pockets. I was still hiding behind the vending machine. I watched as all the bank cards and credit cards he took for himself (Well, that part might be a good thing: some of those students should never have had one). He also took a large amount of the cash for himself. All of this was placed into a pocket that never seemed to become full. The rest of the cash was divided among the students.

They all seemed happy to give the “hero” everything. He had told them that redistributing the money would make them happier. They would all be equal. While some had started out with nothing, and others had quite a bit, the end result was the same: they all had fifty cents. The ones that started out with little grew discontent and wanted more. The evil person of doom seemed pleased with their request. At that time, one of the professors – an elderly one – entered the eating area and demanded to know what was going on. The politically correct one turned his head and grinned.

“Allow me to explain,” he said, “we were just learning about the virtues of mass income redistribution for the equality and happiness of all mankind.” The professor had a puzzled look on his face. The villain sighed and pointed a gun at the professor’s head. “It’s called, ’share-ing’” he chimed, and shot the professor.

The villain reached into the pocket of the corpse and pulled out a wallet. Opening it, he removed a few bills. “This gentleman was guilty of tax evasion and hoarding!” he shouted to a cheering crowd of fifty. “He had a few hundred dollars in his pocket, which means fifty more cents for every one!”

The power went out.

It was evening time, so the room was very dark. I took this opportunity to leave the building quietly — so I would not be caught. As I left the building, I looked around and noticed that there were no lights in any nearby building. At the very least the power was out for this section of the city. I ran in the darkness to my car, and there, in the trunk, was the suit.

For more insaneness, visit Apathy Online

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