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Tax Revolt

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Mailed your taxes yet? Eh, why bother — you know where your money’s going: down the rat hole, already spent, just interest on interest now. Hey, it’s only money. The reason you’re pissed is because it’s your money. You think you’re different because you work so hard for your money. News flash, jerk, we all do. Who doesn’t pay taxes? You want to complain, go live in Uzbekistan.

I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be harsh. I pay taxes too. I do it because otherwise no refund. I’m not stupid. I’m just as dumb as you are. When I learned that 60% — that number again — SIXTY percent — of American corporations paid NO TAXES whatsoever last year, it made me wonder: what’s wrong with the other forty percent? What were they thinking?

Now that it’s okay to not pay taxes, ordinary Americans can’t be far behind. I’m already on board. Just tell me where to not write a check and I’ll do it immediately.

The real April Fool’s joke is on the 15th.

Every year I get suckered. Yet isn’t taxation a form of referendum? Our heritage indicates it: this country’s independence began as a tax revolt. It was always about the money. The “certain unalienable rights” Jefferson mentioned in his letter to King George (among them life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness) were euphemisms for money. It’s all about property. Property is wealth. America itself is property that is owned by the American people, parcel by parcel, vote by vote, gun cabinet by gun cabinet. If an elected government lies to the people who placed it in power, it should be displaced by those people, as Jefferson proscribed. And it will be, of course, one way or another, or both.

We like to pretend America was founded on religious freedom, but if that were true this country would be run by religious fundamentalists instead of faith-based word-replacers. We should call them dementalists because they’ve taken all the fun out. They are strange people with an extremely narrow agenda that represents not the pie but the knife that cuts the pie. To say this country was founded on religious freedom is like saying Australians descended from criminals. We’re very fortunate that our pilgrims had a tendency to drown saucy women or there’d be more folks like David Koresh and Pat Robertson and al Sadr making our minds up.

The anger, frustration and violence in Fallujah is a bit beyond Boston. It proves that people still don’t like to have their country destroyed, invaded and occupied. It just makes them mad. Crazy. Now add the outrage of religious fundamentalists — and you’ve got volatility on the scale described in the Book of Revelations, that apocalyptic document so fondly quoted by our own fundamentalists. The best way to fulfill a prophecy is to fulfill it.

By now it should be obvious to everyone that this entire war is a product of extremely misguided thinking. This war was never about WMDs or terrorism or national security. This war has always been about property. Iraq’s. “Our” intentions in Iraq are not good, but evil. Good can’t come out of it, just as light can’t be squeezed from darkness. The only way to finish what we’ve started is to stop what we started and start over.

Perhaps when the last dime of the unpaid corporate taxes are paid, Americans could resume paying their personal taxes. That would be a way to insure the return of American troops.

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