The first thing you should know about me is that I have Parkinson's disease. I've had it for more than ten years now. It affects my walking, my talking, my sleeping, my swallowing, and a variety of other things that you do every second of every day without even thinking about it. This condition is something I will likely reference in almost everything I write.
I do my best to take care of myself. I do the things I'm supposed to do. I try NOT to do the things I'm NOT supposed to do.
And every time I see my neurologist, he harps on me about my weight.
OK. I get it. I'm fat. I've always BEEN fat. I always WILL be fat. Losing weight would make my body easier to move. But I would still freeze in place when I walk. I would still wobble and fall at the slightest provocation.
Don't get me wrong. I exercise. I ride my exercise bike for twenty minutes, three times a week. I've been going to physical therapy three times a week for a month. And these things help.
But until that grand and glorious day comes when they find a cure, I will always have Parkinson's disease. I can be fat and have PD. Or I can deprive myself of tasty cheeseburgers and yummy ham, egg and cheese sammiches, lose fifty pounds, and still have Parkinson's disease.
That's why I have these philosophical arguments with myself in the frozen foods section of the grocery store. It happens almost every time. I'll walk past the ice cream case and a voice will call me.
"Bill. Hold up a minute."
I've long stopped wondering how the ice cream knows my name. It just does. That's all.