This occurred to me as I spat brown into trashcans in the produce backroom. This became my workplace norm for the week; working front end affords no opportunity to spit putrescence all day. Actually, the “straight” variety is tasty - in a mouthful of poisonous saliva sort of way.
By my second week of dip experimentation, I was dipping at home. By this time, I was looking forward to trying chewing tobacco, thinking this would provide a more intimate relationship with my poison. Sucking on straight, long cut at my computer, I was feeling pretty good. Smokeless gives an even stronger nicotine fix.
A spit that should have been just like any other was “oh, damn!” red with my blood. I spat even more blood into the sink, cleaned up, and swore off smokeless. I'm thankful something saved me from myself, because that was most repulsive and just plain wrong.
The Prince and I are happy together along with my rack of straight brairs. I carry a pipe all day and keep lighting up with my specially ordered solid brass Zippo pipe lighter. Whether I'm taken by cancer or natural causes, smoking is my favorite indulgence and I'm keeping it for life. It's great to finally be at peace with the right smoke for me. It'll be damn fine to spend that extra $50 a week - on booze, of course.
Pipe smoking is at least worth a try. You've got Internet access, so I recommend researching before smoking. Maybe you're one of those lost souls who should try quitting - again. Whatever your smoking preference, keep it burnin'.
Article comments
1 - Jack
I think I'm going to faint. The keyword coded Amazon link pointed to "316L Surgical Steel Curved Barbell with Ball Spacial for Prince Albert Piercing, 0G, 5/8 - Sold as a Pair"
2 - Piping Hot
Pipe tobacco can be rolled into a cigarette - most pipe tobacco is quite good, especially if it isn't topped too much with aromatics and flavor additive casings.
Tobacco, after all, is tobacco.
Manufactured cigarettes, on the other hand, are a whole other animal...mostly not tobacco.
3 - Joe Harris
Yes, Carter Hall makes an especially good makeshift cigarette. Hopefully, we can keep this on the down low to save pipe smokers from a swift tax-raping.
As more cigarette smokers attempt to convert, pipe smoking will be assailed with yet more bullshit. Relatively little research has been done on pipe smoking. While some of the research has been on the favorable side, we don't need any goddamn studies giving ammo to the rabid, worthless, intolerant anti-smoking cartel. Yeah, we know smoking is unhealthy. Fuck off and die, crusader slime.
Meanwhile, the free world assumes that anything negative said about smoking must be true and that smokers have no right to mind their own damn business. Potheads are given more consideration these days.
4 - Dr Dreadful
Cough hack spew... My grandfather smoked 60 a day... hack hack choke cough... and lived till he was 95... hurl hack gasp convulse... of course he couldn't open his mouth without Jackson Pollocking the opposite wall with phlegm... cough cough hack gasp splutter flail thud
5 - Ruvy
I don't know, DD. I was hocking up something terrible a day or two ago and you would have thought that I'd inherited my father's three pack a day unfiltered Camel's habit. The last time I smoked was when I was 8 years old - my dad told me to inhale deeply on the lit cigarette (his unfiltered Camel) and I damn near puked from the coughing fit I got.
I never toughed a cigarette again. If I were to smoke at all, it would be a pipe, but with the problems I have with my lungs, I stay away from the stuff.... With my luck, I'd lip have cancer in a week. Nah - time for me to indulge in my drug of choice - coffee....
My wife, reading over my shoulder, mentioned that her drug of choice is chocolate....