Passover is a night of questions: Why is this night different from all others? Why do we eat matzah? Why do we eat bitter herbs? When do we eat? That last question is the one that, although not part of the original “Ma Nishtanah?” (four questions), is one asked at many seders—by guests (and hosts) of all ages!
The formal meal of the Passover seder (shulchan orech) teases and teases all during the first part of the evening’s series of questions and tellings, symbols and rituals. Although some of these symbols are edible and serve as a sort of appetizer, they are consumed in a special order (which is what seder means) and in small amounts. (A dollop of horseradish on a tiny bit of matzah does not an hors d'oeuvre make.)
So as the young ones and not-so-young ones consume the aroma of brisket, turkey, chicken soup and matzah kugel warming in the kitchen, they sit in the dining room listening to the arcane discussions of Rabbi Tarfon and obscure acronyms of the plagues as they are
enumerated trying to find the “meta” and the meaning in what we’re recalling a time several thousand years past. (And I'll have more to say about that in a forthcoming article.)
So what’s a host (or hostess) to do when the seven or ten year olds at the table begin to loose composure, and instead of raptly listening to the “the story” (magid), they're screaming: “I want to eat”?
The fact is that the seder is largely intended for the edification and education of our children, and if they’re screaming, distracted and hungry, the message just ain’t gonna get through! How are they going to remember the real lesson of “we were once slaves and now we’re free” or charoset when they’ve lost all concentration to the rumblings of their collective tummies? The answer my friends is karpas!
Article comments
1 - Orange450
Beautiful veggie platter, Barbara :)
In my experience, the Seder - like almost everything else in life - adheres to two significant maxims: one being "the more you put into it, the more you get out of it.", and the other being: "an ounce of prevention (or preparation) is worth a pound of cure." Both apply to the "meta" as well as the meal!
Re the meal: One thing that I did growing up, and do with my family now (as do many of my friends), is enjoy a delicious and substantial "pre-Pesach" snack, shortly before candle-lighting time. Yes, it's another meal to prepare on the busiest day of the year, but the effort is amply repaid by the fact that we're not starving throughout the first part of the Seder.
My mother, of blessed memory, was a Hungarian Holocaust survivor. She was a sophisticated and trendy cook, and although Kosher L'Mehadrin, our cuisine was anything but the traditional Jewish fare. My mother made potato kugel only once a year, for our pre-Seder mini-meal. And although I seldom touch potato kugel nowadays, I still hunger for my Mom's :)
I serve a hearty potato salad, cottage cheese, gefilte fish, coffee and cake. My family (and any houseguests we may have) tucks in, and even tho' we typically don't get to our Shulchan Orech until 11 PM or so, no one seems to mind. (The meal isn't the main part of the Seder for us IAC, so in keeping with the late hour, the menu is light, and fairly streamlined.)
Re the meta: I've always found that the more preparation kids and grown-ups do before the Seder, the more fun and interesting the proceedings become. Nowadays, there are so many wonderful books and kits that can jump-start an interactive, enjoyable and highly participatory Seder experience, even for those who have no other exposure to the topics. (The kids in my class - 3 & 4 year olds - are absolutely primed by now to jump right in (just like frogs :))and join in with the re-enactment!) Yes - just like the pre-Seder meal - it means that extra effort is involved. But then those maxims kick in...
p.s. I had the most fun with my class this week. I got to play the part of King Paroh, and I told the kids to take out every block in our (very big) block corner, and build me a pyramid. They really got into it. Later on, a little boy asked another teacher in the room if he could get a drink of water. When the teacher expressed surprise that the boy was asking permission to do something that is always allowed, the boy answered "Morah Orange (well, you know...) wouldn't let us get drinks before, when she was being Paroh and we were being the Jewish people in Mitzraim who had to work so hard..." (No children were harmed in the staging of this segment.)
2 - Heloise
Hey Barb I spotted a possible pun for your headline: Pass-Hors D'oeuvre!
3 - barbara barnett
Thank you Orange, for sharing that. I'll be doing few more of these pre-Pesach meanderings as I wander through the next couple of weeks :)
Our seders have always seen a split in attendees: very knowledgeable kids (and parents) who want to chant every word--and those who need/want to learn as we go, and don't know much going in.
This year we're going to friends' for seders, and we've been tasked to run the Magid (the telling), for which we're always trying to be creative.