Exercise Less and Eat More Junk Food

Last year, I was sick on a regular basis. I suffered from a cold, allergies, the flu, fevers, and food poisoning. I found this incredibly frustrating, because I had been living a very healthy lifestyle.

I played soccer. I ran miles and wind sprints. I did push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups at home. I avoided sodas and fried foods, I ate vegetables and fruit, and I ate my vitamins. However, after suffering through 103 degree fevers and coughing fits, I decided that exercise and healthy eating weren't working.

Consequently, I’ve come up with an alternative healthy lifestyle for happy living.

So long to push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, twist-ups, bend-ups, and throw-ups!
Adios to Calcium, Fish Oil, One-A-Day, whole bread, and oatmeal!

I present these five diet and exercise tips:

1) Morning exercise. Don’t.
It may take some discipline to avoid indulging in this common practice, but with time, the self-control will come.
If weeks go by and you still find yourself struggling with the temptation to exercise in the morning, try sleeping in. Be strong. You can do it.

2) Breakfast. It can be difficult to decide what to eat for breakfast. I understand how challenging this can be, so I've provided some guidelines for breakfast food.
a) The later the expiration date, the better.
b) Chocolate frosted versions of your breakfast food are always a good choice.
c) Sugar should be the first ingredient.
d) Look for breakfast foods that are endorsed by recent children's movies.

If you still find breakfast to be problematic, start with a hearty breakfast of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, hot chocolate, and a croissant. If you like cereal, use whole chocolate milk. Readers of Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbies will know that chocolate milk is better than coke because the carbonation makes the coke bubbles go up your nose.

3) Lunch. Lunch is the easiest meal to plan for. You can have a very filling and inexpensive lunch with the McDonald’s Dollar Menu. I prefer getting two McChicken sandwiches, a small fry, and a chocolate milk. This is a good meal for under $5.

Article Author: SteventheThorn

Steven Thorn was born in Virginia, U.S.A. He and his brother were homeschooled through high school by their mother, a former public school teacher in California and Florida.

Steven studied Professional Writing and Classics at the University of Oklahoma, his dad's alma mater. …

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