Denny's Changes World Forever With "Rockstar Menu" - Page 2

What does Denny's need with an "innovation officer"? The last time I can remember them being "innovative" was when they started serving Splenda.

Apparently they need him to help "innovate" dishes like these:

"The Hot 'N' Cold Cherry Chocolate Cappuccino — A tasty, multi-layered concoction inspired by the singer’s new hit single, “Hot n’ Cold.” Katy Perry’s pick-me-up drink includes cherries, vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, French vanilla cappuccino, and whipped cream with a cherry on top."

I guess the "I Kissed A Girl Cherry Chapstick Sundae" is too racy for the Bible Belt?

"Taking Back Sunday’s Melty Grilled Chicken and Sausage Quesadilla — The New York rockers Taking Back Sunday have cooked up a quesadilla that will fill any late night cravings. The dish is a large flour tortilla, stuffed with chicken breast, sausage, American cheese, fire-roasted peppers and onions, fresh pico de gallo and served with a cilantro-lime ranch sauce."

This sounds decent. For Denny's.

"The Great Eggsteak — Boys Like Girls introduce a hot roast beef sandwich with peppers and onions, pepper jack cheese, scrambled egg, and spicy mayonnaise on sourdough bread. Served with hash browns."

That must be one HOT sandwich.

"The Hooburrito — Hoobastank serves up a burrito with crispy chicken strips, pepper jack cheese, cheese sauce, fried onion crispers, and a hint of barbecue sauce. Served with tortilla chips, and a side of cheese sauce, and ranch."

I would never put Hoobastank in my ears, so there's no way they're getting anywhere near my mouth.

These items join others on the Denny's Allnighter menu, including this delightful concoction, which sounds like the kind of food a death row inmate requests as his last meal: "Potachos — kettle chips topped with sausage, bacon, and shredded cheese."

Potachos. Holy crap.

I've got a two-year-old and I usually fall asleep before nine, so it's unlikely I'll be in a Denny's after 10 p.m. anytime soon. I plan to use the overwhelming cultural weight of my Blogcritics career to attempt to wrest some free coupons out of Denny's PR team.

If I never taste these, I guess it's just comforting to know that Denny's is still out there fighting the good fight, innovating with new concoctions that involve pepperjack cheese, fried onions, and a hint of barbecue sauce.

Not a dollop — just a hint. Let's not get crazy here.

Article Author: Matt Springer

Matt Springer should probably trim his toenails more often. Instead, he spends far too much time thinking and writing about pop culture ephemera, at Alert Nerd (for geek stuff) and Pop Geek (for everything else). …

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