Dan Nied's 100 Days: Day 30 - Page 2

Shep is the same nutrition teacher (I think he teaches, anyway) I talked about yesterday. He is also the baseball coach at the junior college I cover and he had some interesting things to say about this diet. He confirmed a lot of things I have already been doing and gave me a few tips. We agreed it was best for me to cut down, not necessarily out, the bread. I will still be searching for alternatives, though.

Interruption: I am still on a Weezer kick and the song “the good life” just came on. The chorus contains the line “…It’s time I got back to the good life/It’s time I got back, time I got back/and I don’t even know how I got off the track…” I think that is kind of appropriate for this project. Kind of weird how that works, eh? I wasn’t planning that, it just happened. Of course, the song on now is “Tired of Sex”. So I guess I shouldn’t read too much into these Weezer prophecies.

Shep also said that I should start taking a multi-vitamin every day, because I prefer iceberg lettuce over spinach or romaine. I have been wondering if I should start with that. And, you know what? I think I will. And he said that I shouldn’t worry about fruit too much. Everything else he said was basically par for the course: eat at least five times per day, stay away from red meat, make sure you get a in a full-body workout. He also didn’t laugh at me when I said I wanted to lose 100 pounds in 100 days. All in all, I think that was a very productive meeting. I hope he kicks my ass all the way back to 270.

So I was in Subway today and it was like a goddamn obstacle course. That’s what I get for going during the prime lunch rush. First, I couldn’t dodge awkward hellos with high school kids I cover on a regular basis. I hate those moments when you see someone out of the context you usually see them in. I only talk to these kids after games, and now I had to pretend to be a real person to them? No, thank you. I have nothing to gain from that.

So then, I get in the very long line. I wait and wait. Finally, I am close to ordering. But the guy two spots in front of me pulls out a damn list. Oh those fucking lists. Whenever a guy gets out a list with multiple orders on it, I groan audibly. I can’t help it. It is a natural reaction. If you don’t know the guy with the list, let me explain. He comes to Subway alone, looking like one person waiting to order one sandwich. But when his time comes, he pulls out that damn half-sheet of paper with at least THREE orders listed on there. These orders, presumably, are for his lazy fuck coworkers who are “too busy” (cry me a fucking river) to come to Subway themselves. The guy, who is always at least half-retarded, has to juggle these three subs, all made to order. So you just hear him going “that one’s a club.. oh, that one has lettuce, tomato and pickles … oh that one has mustard.” It always takes 10 minutes, minimum, for him to finish.

Article Author: Dan Nied

Dan Nied is a journalist, of sorts, living near San Francisco. He is a college graduate, but you wouldn't know it by looking at his bank statement.

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