Almost everyone remembers their first drink of alcohol. I remember mine like it was yesterday. Taking a sip of my father's Bud Light when I was seven years old, I realized it tasted nothing like the root beer I frequently drank, mixing it with vanilla ice cream in large plastic cups. As I concentrated on not spitting the beer back in the can, knowing very well this would send my germ-a-phobic father rocking in the corner, I swallowed the beer with my nose plugged and vowed to never drink again.
This vow was broken in my late teenage years when beer bongs and keg stands were calling me, chanting my name in unison and performing the "slow clap" portrayed in inspirational moments in movies. But, the truth is, I didn't really like beer then and I don't really like it now. From the cheap stuff filling the kegs of frat houses all over the world, to the more expensive wheat beers served with an orange, they've always tasted the same to me. They've always tasted bad.
That is why, after college, where beer was just short of flowing from dorm room faucets, I decided to climb the corporate ladder of liquor consumption, with the next rung up being wine.
Initially I made this choice because of the health benefits of wine. Unlike beer, with each pint providing more belly fat in alcohol's version of 8-minute abs, wine possesses several things beneficial to a person's health, with particular concern to the heart. But, health benefits aside, I took this plunge because wine is so much more than alcohol.
However, taking the plunge from beer to wine wasn't easy. While beer is junior varsity, wine is varsity. With wine, you're playing with the big boys and there are several rules to keep in mind for a smooth transition.
Don't Play Drinking Games
From Quarters to Century Club, beer was made for drinking competitions, being the game piece passing Go and collecting two hundred dollars. But, playing a drinking game with wine may result in praying to the porcelain God later in the evening. While beer is made to be swallowed in large amounts, with the occasional belch being the only thing needed to make someone getting sick feel better, wine isn't. Wine, simply put, is not a toy.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Occidental Pourist
"Several types of beer" - you are kidding right? There is so much to the beer world beyond the mass produced lagers of America and Europe. To say that beer and wine are not on equal footing variety and taste-wise is simply ignorant.
Check out Belgium sometime, heck check out Colorado where more than 100 breweries and pubs make a range of beers that you would be hard-pressed to qualify as beer given your obviously uninformed and narrow view.
2 - Go BA
You have so much to learn:
3 - homebrew addict
I love wine, I probably have 50 bottles in my cave at the house, and I have probably 10 varieties. In my beer room though, I have about 40 varieties of store-bought beer from around the US and the world, and 8 different homebrews on tap. Each of these beers has a truly uniques taste, texture and alcohol level. When you say there are just a few varieties of beer, you're referring to macro swill(Bud, Millers,Coors-BMC) Those beers bear no relation to real beer. Try a Trappist from Belgium-Chimay, Westmalle, Oval or Rochefort. All Trappists, but all very different. Try a German hefeweizen or dopplebock. Educate yourself about the vast craft beer industry that is taking over America.
4 - Wine makes me cringe
You are so uninformed and stereotypical. Pls keep your babble to yourself and stop un-educating people. You don't know beer, so don't talk about it...thank you
5 - Hopslam
You have so much to learn about beer.
6 - Calgary beer lover
Dear Jennifer,
You're perfectly entitled not to like beer, and I'll praise your honesty to say so. However, you're way off base when you start making value judgments about beer and the (lack of) sophistication possessed by people who drink it.
As the previous, (more vitriolic) poster managed to point out, within a tiny country like Belgium alone there is a vast variety of beer being brewed, with many venerable brands going back hunderds of years. Many ales have been brewed by Trappist monks for centuries and have a complexity to them that rivals any wine. Have you tried any of them?
I'm not going to commit the same sin you did by judging your particular pasttimes, but let me say I find it hilarious that someone who indulges in cigars will turn around and slam beer's allegedly unhealthy qualities and supposed lack of sophistication. Tell us, how is inhaling smoke and then polluting the air around you sophisticated? And it *certainly* isn't healthy, no matter what one thinks of it.
I drink beer daily â€" sometimes more than one. And guess what? I'm 5' 10", weigh 145 pounds and am a dedicated distance runner. I run at least one marathon a year and can do a 10K race in 40 minutes. A "sophisticated" cigar-smoking oenophile would be hard-pressed to match that.
Oh, and I'm also a reporter at a large metropolitan daily. I mention this because as a writer, one of the lessons I've learned is to restrict my opinions to things I know, or at least make sure I research topics I have a shaky knowledge of. I have no doubt your knowledge of wine is vast, but I'd humbly suggest doing some more homework (have a few beers!) before writing about beer again.
BTW, I was pointed here by a link posted by a member of one of my favourite websites, Beer Advocate. Why don't you check it out? My user name's "vanrassel" and I've got 141 reviews under my belt if you want to take a virtual trip around the beer world.
Cheers.
7 - Bob
Ah, another fine comment from the uninformed. All beer is not Budweiser and Miller, as the monks of Belgium will be happy to tell you. They have been brewing fine beers for almost a thousand years, and none of them resemble the yellow water that you purport to be beer. Do you know that many beers brewed today are meant to be aged like wine? There are beers that are aged in sherry and bourbon casks just like wines are. Have you ever had something moderately tasty, like a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale? Or even a Sam Adams. Please, visit a website like Ratebeer.com for a little education prior to making completely uninformed blanket statements.
8 - that_one_guy
Judging by your article, you are very ignorant about beer. I would advise doing more research.
9 - SC
It is a shame that such absurd ignorance towards beer still exists. That type of backward thinking is precisely why some reatuarants still don't "get it," and only offer such mass-produced watered-down beers as Budweiser and Coors Light as their "selection." I do not frequent such places, by the way, and imagine that you would not frequent an establishment that served only Boone's Farms or Mad Dog 20/20 wine.
The fact is that there are many etremely different beer styles, and there are hundreds of examples within each style which taste very different. And the fact that beer can range from 3% to above 20% in ABV (alcohol by volume) speaks loudly to the vast differences in taste and style that are available.
Your analysis on beer is simply laughable. I invite you to stop by my place sometime where I would be glad to provide you with an educational journey into the true nature of beer, with samples of most styles to enhance the journey.
10 - Errrrrrrrr
I hope to god this article is as tongue in cheek as I think it is. Otherwise it just serves to show us what you don't know. I'm a wine consultant by trade, and a beer lover at heart. If there is one thing I don't need to see, It's another ignorant article that touts the wonders of wine by crapping all over beer. Wine has enough merits to stand all on its own. As a matter of fact beer in all of its facets, has those same merits, but you obviously couldn't be bothered to find out what they are. Check out Garret Oliver's Brewmasters Table to find out about the wonderful history of beer and how fabulous it can be with food. Or go to Beeradvocate.com or ratebeer.com to find out about the many wonderful and complex beer types the world has to offer, and meet a number of beers absolutely rabid fans. ( there's a good chance you'll get some comments and/or emails from some of these rabid fans as wll ;) )
I know, I know, if I don't like it, don't read it. Well, we'll call it even as you've deprived me of several minutes of my life I'll never get back.
JonW
11 - JJ
You guys..relax. Have a beer, have some wine, have some Jack and Coke. Notice that this piece is Opinion. That's the great thing about an opinion piece: it's an opinion. You don't have to agree with me. I think wine is better than beer, you don't. Who cares?
As far as accusations of me not being an experienced beer drinking. Trust me, I majored in beer in college and I'm not talking about the Natural Lights and Miller Lights. I went to college in a Beer town, with a micro brew on every corner. I've tasted all kinds and I think it tastes similar (again, this is my opinion. One I am entitled to as you are to yours). As far as "Checking out Colorado." Hello. I live in Colorado. I have my whole life. I've drank from bars all over this place and there are several varieties (as I stated in my article) but to me, wine is still better and two types of wine taste more different than two types of beer ever will. This is MY opinion. Again, relax.
Carry on.
12 - AResponse
Allow me to respond to some of your points. As others have pointed out, your love of wine is indeed justified, however, in your zeal to express such, you have promoted an image of beer that the most ignorant people hold.
Beer, like wine, should not be chugged. It should be enjoyed and the flavor profiles noted. Beers encompass a wide range of flavors, aromas, textures, etc. From the hoppy, piney, citrusy punch of an West Coast IPA to the dark fruit, candy sugar, phenolic Belgian dark ales, beer's flavors profile is quite vast.
Beer, like wine, should be consumed from a glass. Further, the correct glass for the style. From curved tulips to accentuate head retention and aroma, to straig sided pilsner glasses to showcase color and carbonation. Many European brewers design a glass specifically for each of their beers.
Beer, like wine, has a rich history and rebirth history of craft beer. Look iinto the Trappist monks of Belgium, and people like Fritz Maytag, Garrett Oliver, Adam Avery, etc... and you'll see the rich history beer has.
Finally, I would reccomend reading the Brewmasters Table by Garrett Oliver in which he delivers exceptional beer and food pairings and even intimates that beer has a greater ability to be paired with food than does wine. In addition, you will also find Beeradvocate.com an excellent resource for the appreciation of quality beer.
I hope you will take these comments to heart and perhaps revise you above comments.
13 - JJ
Oh, also, this article was written to be cheeky. While I do prefer wine to beer, a lot of what I said is done for humor. If you've ever read any of my articles, you'd know I'm sattirical by nature.
14 - Ronald J. Mexico
Hopslam.
find it.
drink it.
15 - JJ
Okay...seeing how this seemed to offend every Beer Drinker in the world (which again was not my intention)I just spoke to my boss and our wine company has a proposition for you all. Every Friday we have a wine tasting, where we sample different types of wine. But, we have agreed to use next Friday for a beer tasting. If we find that you guys are right, I will write an article the following week refuting this one. But, I will need you guys to tell me what to drink to prove your point. So, can you guys send me a list of five or so beers that you recommend I try. Someone said Hopslam, which I've never heard of. It would be beneficial if these beers were easy to get a hold of in Colorado (where we are located). Thanks. JJ
16 - Errrrrrrrr
Yes it is your opinion, And of course you are entitled to it. Just as the little comment box at the bottom of the screen allows us to disagree, pehaps a little vehemently. Wine is NOT the next rung up the ladder from beer. Better beer is the next rung up the ladder. You just jumped ladders thats all. I defend your right to not like beer, and if you've really tried better beer and didn't like it, thats fine. But your statement about "more expensive wheat beers served with an orange" just tells us you were probably drinking Blue Moon, which is made by Coors and is NOT expensive or better beer.
In fact there are a number of things in your article that just frustrate the hell out of me, from your intimations that wine has history while beer doesn't, beer is a drink for barbarians who swill and belch, and generally behave poorly. There are only several varieties of beer???? This is not your opinion, this is just incorrect, by a wide margin. Beer should be chugged? All this time I've been savoring my beer, how did I get it sooo wrong!
I'm just getting frustrated now. Try not te be so ignorant, you've got good things to say, just learn a little bit first.
I'm certain you're enjoying all the extra traffic. So, You're welcome.
17 - SC
Hopslam is brewed by Bell's Breweing Co in Kalamazoo, MI. If you can't find it, try another double IPA (Hop Wallup by Victory Brewing in PA, for instance). For a standard IPA, you could use Hazed and Infused by Colorado Brewing Co.
I would also include Orval Trappist (a Belgian which is relatively easy to find)
And Paulaner Hefeweiss, also easy to find.
I would also suggest that you pick a nice stout, how about Rogue's Shakespeare Stout (Oregon)
Those are some ideas to provide some contrasting styles and tastes. I'll let others chime in with more suggestions.
18 - xak
Just for personal justification, which breweries in CO have you visited and what types of beers have you consumed? I find it impossible that anyone on this earth can find that "most" beers taste alike. So, to save your reputation, possibly enlighten us as to what beers you drank in the past.
And where is this college where you "majored in beer"? Does that mean you actually took classes on the brewing of beer or that you drank lots of beer. I assume it is the latter. Like most college students who are broke, you probably chose to drink cheaper beers for the psychological and physiological effects, rahter than taste. I majored in wine my first semester, when I consumed Mad Dog Orange Jubilee and Boones Farm Strawberry Fields wine. Toss in some Franzia and Julio Gallo and you can call me an "expert", right?. Thanks for clearing things up for us. X
19 - Errrrrrrrr
Satire is one thing, incorrect is another.
There are a ton of microbreweries in Colorado, Avery and New Belgium are two of the bigger ones.
Stone Russian Imperial Stout from San Diego, should be available is chock full of flavor and complexity. Saison Dupont is a generally available saison from Belgium and a great choice.
That should get you started
JonW
20 - robc
Ill give it a quick off the top of my head try:
Chimay Grand Reserve (Belgium)
Bell's 2 hearted ale (Kalamazoo)
Fuller's ESB (England)
Goose Island Nut Brown Ale (Chicago)
Franziskaner Hefeweizen (Germany)
Only doing 5 is hard, Im missing at leat 40-50 good styles. Not sure if Goose Island or Bell's distribute to Colorado, but you can find an IPA/Brown ale replacement for both locally. None of those 5 taste anything like each other.
21 - Beers
If you want 5 beers to showcase the range of flavors and taste, try the following:
1. St. Bernardous ABT 12
2. Russian River Beatification
3. Avery Maharaja
4. Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout
5. Victory Prima Pils
Propper Glassware will help as well.
(Although I cannot vouge for the availability of all in the said area)
22 - Marquis
I am a member of The Wine Society and of the Campaign for Real Ale , which puts me firmly into both camps.
Both drinks give me great joy and I have tried over the years to extend my knowledge of them.What I have found is that one is not superior to the other,they are different and let us rejoice in the availability of both.Nobody can say that lobster is better than fillet steak , certainly they may prefer one or the other , but to go further than this is absurd.
Perhaps you have based your opinions on the dreadful mass produced so called beers on the market.If these were the only beers available your comments would be valid but you cannot fairly compare wine with only the worst beers in the world.
23 - robc
Also, before serving the beers for the tasting, make sure you research the PROPER temperature for them. None of the ones I suggested should be served ice cold, like is usually done with macro american beers.
24 - Shbobdb
If I had to pick 5 beers that would demonstrate the range of beer, I would choose:
1)Cantillon Broucsella (1900) Grand Cru (though Cantillon Geuze would work if you can't find the Grand Cru). You can substitute this with La Folie from New Belgium, a colorado brewery
2) Avery 13, from Avery another colorado brewery.
3) Rauchator Doppelbock from Ft. Collins (yet another brewery in Colorado)
4) Yeti Imperial Stout, from Great Divide Brewery in Colorado
5) Titan IPA, from Great Divide.
Now, these brews tend to emphasize the malt aspect of beer more than the hop aspect, but I still think that this will cover a nice range of tastes and styles, and if you use the La Folie for #1, it is all beers that are readily available in your state. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the range and complexity of these drinks.
25 - moderateA
I have to agree with most of the comments written about your opinion. you are certainly entitled to it, but much of what you said is uneducated on the topic. There is a whole bunch of history about beer. Check out what indian pale ales are, as well as russian imperial stouts, or baltic porters. btw, i would feel sorry for any person who tried to chug a russian imperial stout, i think the intensity of the flavor and alc. would make it nearly impossible (i had a bottle last night and it took about an hour to finish). Check out Dogfish head brewery from Delaware to see some interesting beers full of history (Midas touch, Chateau Jiahu, etc).Weihenstephan brewery in Germany has been brewing since the year 1040...i bet you can find history there. After you research, you will also find what a vast variety beer has to offer, and after trying those craft beers, you will be see the large spectrum of flavors so many beers offer. I enjoy wine very much, but beer provides a much bigger variety. You dont have to like it, but please respect it.
Oh, and beer does have health benifets (in moderation). Just like beer, wine will lose the nutritional value if you drink too much, so dont think wine is superior in that aspect either. So go out and get you a nice quadrupel and check out it's compexities...but remember to drink this at cellar temp like you wines, it's meant to be savored.