Now, for the last moment of preparation. The dressing. Sweet Onion Vinaigrette, as it were. Ok, so points off for no actual Caesar dressing, but in a way I didn't mind because you just can't get a good Caesar dressing anywhere but a true Long Island Greek diner. As it turns out, they did have a Caesar dressing but, for some unknown reason, Miss I Smell Like Michael Moore decided I would prefer onions.
I opened the dressing packet with my teeth, because there really is no other way to open it properly and squeezed every last drop over the salad, wondering how this onion goop was going to taste when mixed with the brown, murky goop that the shrimp came in.
Croutons. You cannot have a Caesar salad without croutons! I searched the mess of BK food and foodstuffs on our table but alas, there were no croutons. I sent my daughter to the counter to ask Michael Moore for croutons. She reported back that they did not have any. I was incredulous. Many style points taken off. Many.
All the ingredients secured in one place, I put the cover back on the salad, made sure it was properly secured, grabbed the bowl in a frisbee grip and tossed it to my sister across the table. She threw it back. Don't ever think those high school days spent playing Frisbee instead of studying Trig won't come in handy, because they will. As I just showed you.
My salad was now tossed. Go ahead, I'll wait while you make your juvenile sexual innuendos. Done? Good, because they were lame. Surely you can do better than that.
I took one last glance at my wallet to make sure my insurance card was there. Then, in a style reminiscent of Babe Ruth, I slowly raised my arm and pointed to the hospital across the street. I uncovered the salad, grabbed a plastic fork, and dug in.
It was a caesar salad and it was good. Very good. At times, while I was shoveling forkfulls of shrimp, tomato and lettuce in my mouth, I would feel somewhat cheapened that I was enjoying a fast food salad so much, but then I would stab a cucumber, wipe it in the dressing that spilled onto the table, stuff it in my mouth and proclaim I love Burger King salad and I don't care who knows it!
Article comments
1 - NancyGail
McDonald's, however, will always make the better fries.
2 - john
wow what a snob u are i came by accident to ur site i was serching on google for "burger king rocks". Ur very snobby wow just wow....
3 - bLogTHeInTErNet
Great post. I created a post about my Burger King experience a few weeks ago, and tonight I went to google to search for other people that wrote about their Burger King experiences and I found a ton of content. I really enjoyed your post. I wanted to invite you to read the post I created on my Burger King experience. I am enjoying your site... take care.
4 - Brian
I loved your BK salad story, made me laugh
I didnt ever get to try the shrimp one =/
5 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
It's a damned shame Michele Catalano stopped writing for the site. Her restaurant review was so damned funny it was worth money....
Hmmmm....
If the cashiers at a Long Island BK stink like a locker room and refuse to talk English, I wonder about the Burger King in the St. Paul suburb that I used to manage.... It's been over six years, hey. America sure has gone down the tubes.
FLUSH!!!
6 - Henry
cant believe i read this whole thing...who can ramble this long about a burger king salad?
7 - Joanne Huspek
I came here via Henry. I thought this post was delicious! The salad, not so.
8 - BurgerKingGirl
Hmmm I love Burger King Tender Crisp Salads...what exactly do you eat on the regular because they are great!
9 - charles
Wow YOU are quite a snob despite mentioned earlier. I got halfway through this crap and realized this has nothing to do with salad more than it does with you explaining that your a snob.
Good job.
10 - Ralph Malph
Burger King salad? I guess they are better than your average salad bar--so self-serving.
11 - Scott
Good review, but the Cashier thing was something you should have of left out. But good review overall.
12 - Shelly
I read up til the Christina Aguilera part - totally unnecessary & very snarky.