Next up was the shrimp. At Burger King, they don't just toss a bunch of shrimp onto your salad. No, it comes separately. You know those bags you get from a Chinese restaurant when you order beef sticks (what? you never ordered beef sticks before?), the kind with the foil on the inside? Yes, a bag-o-shrimp. Said shrimp were swimming in some kind of murky brown mixture that upon first glance looked like sludge, but ended up having a much lighter appearance than first thought once the shrimp were removed from their keep-it-warm container. Now came the important part: the smell test.
I don't like my shrimp to smell too... shrimpy. Or fishy. There is no bigger food turnoff than trying to eat something that smells like Christina Aguilera's crotch. Not that I've smelled it. I just heard. From Fred Durst.
I decided to use my assistant for this one. I picked one of the shrimp up with my forefingers and held it to my daughter's nose. She recoiled immediately. Ewww, I'm a vegetarian, get that shrimp out of here. Gross. Ewww! Gawd, mom, you're so rude! Relax, I told her. I don't want you to eat the thing, I just want you to smell it. Does it smell... dead? She put her nose right next to the little creature, took a whiff, pronounced it ok smelling and then I gave her a little slap on the back of her head so that her head sprang forward and the shrimp ended up in her nose. No, not really. But I thought about it.
With the shrimp pronounced good-smelling by a certified vegetarian, we could move forward. I shook the rest of the shrimp out of the bag and they poured out like a rain shower of baby crustaceans right into my salad bowl. My sister broke out into a chorus of "It's Raining Shrimp" and my daughter crawled under the table.
I have to say, I was surprised at the amount of shrimp that came out of that bag. I expected seven or eight at the most, including the one up Natalie's nose, but there were twenty-two, that's right 22, shrimp swimming in that pouch. I still don't know what the glaze/sauce was that they were covered in, but that doesn't matter because it tasted good.
Article comments
1 - NancyGail
McDonald's, however, will always make the better fries.
2 - john
wow what a snob u are i came by accident to ur site i was serching on google for "burger king rocks". Ur very snobby wow just wow....
3 - bLogTHeInTErNet
Great post. I created a post about my Burger King experience a few weeks ago, and tonight I went to google to search for other people that wrote about their Burger King experiences and I found a ton of content. I really enjoyed your post. I wanted to invite you to read the post I created on my Burger King experience. I am enjoying your site... take care.
4 - Brian
I loved your BK salad story, made me laugh
I didnt ever get to try the shrimp one =/
5 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
It's a damned shame Michele Catalano stopped writing for the site. Her restaurant review was so damned funny it was worth money....
Hmmmm....
If the cashiers at a Long Island BK stink like a locker room and refuse to talk English, I wonder about the Burger King in the St. Paul suburb that I used to manage.... It's been over six years, hey. America sure has gone down the tubes.
FLUSH!!!
6 - Henry
cant believe i read this whole thing...who can ramble this long about a burger king salad?
7 - Joanne Huspek
I came here via Henry. I thought this post was delicious! The salad, not so.
8 - BurgerKingGirl
Hmmm I love Burger King Tender Crisp Salads...what exactly do you eat on the regular because they are great!
9 - charles
Wow YOU are quite a snob despite mentioned earlier. I got halfway through this crap and realized this has nothing to do with salad more than it does with you explaining that your a snob.
Good job.
10 - Ralph Malph
Burger King salad? I guess they are better than your average salad bar--so self-serving.
11 - Scott
Good review, but the Cashier thing was something you should have of left out. But good review overall.
12 - Shelly
I read up til the Christina Aguilera part - totally unnecessary & very snarky.