Burger King Salad: A Review - Page 2

We get our food and move over to the nearest table that could accommodate all of us, which turned out to be the table right under the air conditioner vent. This has nothing to do with the salad, but everything to do with creating the proper dining atmosphere. Granted, you're not going to get a quality dining experience when there are kids in the partly padded cell to the left of you throwing brightly colored balls at the plastic window in an effort to interrupt your conversation and ruin your dinner all at once. But let me tell you, it takes only one time for an adult to press their face against the window and mouth the words "I will eat you and your little sister for dinner if you don't stop throwing those balls right now" for a kid to really get it. The balls stopped coming at us and we made the attempt to get comfortable in the frigid air, though I had to keep putting my arms across my chest because apparently the town workers that were standing on line thought they could determine the temperature in the room by staring at my boobs.

So, the salad.

We didn’t get off to a good start. I could see as soon as I opened the plastic bowl that there was mostly Iceberg lettuce packed in there. Caesar = romaine. Caesar does not equal Iceberg. The sooner all restaurants figure this out, the better off we will all be. Upon further examination of the bowl, I saw that there was more than a handful of Romaine, and the Iceberg was mostly of the chunky variety (I hate wilty lettuce leaves), so I decided to suffer in silence.

Mixed in with the lettuce were a few cherry tomatoes, a fistful of shredded carrot and a couple of cucumber slices. I examined each vegetable carefully, noting the texture and quality of each. The tomatoes were the right consistency of hard, the carrots were the correct shade of orange and the cucumbers did not have the feel of hardened jello. Good start! However, the topping that pushed the salad over the "I'm going to dread this" line to "this just might be good" line was the Parmesan cheese. I expected a few sprinkles of some no-frills Parmesan that smelled like a cow's butt, but was instead pleasantly surprised with actual chunky shavings of real, doesn't-smell-like-cow's-ass cheese. The lettuce/topping portion of the salad judging over, I thought we just might be onto something more than mediocre here.

Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2 — Page 3Page 4Page 5

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Article Author: Michele Catalano

Michele is from Long Island and writes about two of her favorite things - punk rock and fast cars -along with her better half at Faster Than the World.

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Article comments

  • 1 - NancyGail

    Mar 15, 2005 at 4:49 pm

    McDonald's, however, will always make the better fries.

  • 2 - john

    May 14, 2006 at 6:04 am

    wow what a snob u are i came by accident to ur site i was serching on google for "burger king rocks". Ur very snobby wow just wow....

  • 3 - bLogTHeInTErNet

    May 18, 2006 at 11:42 pm

    Great post. I created a post about my Burger King experience a few weeks ago, and tonight I went to google to search for other people that wrote about their Burger King experiences and I found a ton of content. I really enjoyed your post. I wanted to invite you to read the post I created on my Burger King experience. I am enjoying your site... take care.

  • 4 - Brian

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    I loved your BK salad story, made me laugh

    I didnt ever get to try the shrimp one =/

  • 5 - Ruvy in Jerusalem

    Oct 23, 2007 at 5:15 am

    It's a damned shame Michele Catalano stopped writing for the site. Her restaurant review was so damned funny it was worth money....

    Hmmmm....

    If the cashiers at a Long Island BK stink like a locker room and refuse to talk English, I wonder about the Burger King in the St. Paul suburb that I used to manage.... It's been over six years, hey. America sure has gone down the tubes.

    FLUSH!!!

  • 6 - Henry

    Apr 14, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    cant believe i read this whole thing...who can ramble this long about a burger king salad?

  • 7 - Joanne Huspek

    Apr 19, 2008 at 11:54 am

    I came here via Henry. I thought this post was delicious! The salad, not so.

  • 8 - BurgerKingGirl

    Sep 09, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    Hmmm I love Burger King Tender Crisp Salads...what exactly do you eat on the regular because they are great!

  • 9 - charles

    Dec 02, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    Wow YOU are quite a snob despite mentioned earlier. I got halfway through this crap and realized this has nothing to do with salad more than it does with you explaining that your a snob.
    Good job.

  • 10 - Ralph Malph

    Dec 05, 2008 at 2:25 am

    Burger King salad? I guess they are better than your average salad bar--so self-serving.

  • 11 - Scott

    Jan 02, 2009 at 5:16 am

    Good review, but the Cashier thing was something you should have of left out. But good review overall.

  • 12 - Shelly

    Sep 24, 2009 at 10:27 am

    I read up til the Christina Aguilera part - totally unnecessary & very snarky.

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