COUNTRY STARS LAUNCH CELEBRITY-BRANDED FOODS: Country western singers are going into celebrity-branded foods in a big way. These include (not kidding) George Jones’ bacon and bottled water; Tracy Byrd’s sauces; and Dwight Yoakam’s new foray into seafood.
Why stop with country western singers and why limit it to food? Why not expand it to anyone who is famous? Here are our suggestions (and no ideology is spared):
1. Janet Jackson Turkey Breast.
2. Janet Reno Moustache Remover
3. Rush Limbaugh Baloney
4. Al Franken Fertilizer
5. Michael Jackson Probe
6. William Shatner Ham
7. Monica Lewinsky Slurpee
8. Robert Dole Viagra (hey, he beat us to it!)
9. Mike Tyson Mace
10. The Moderate Voice Shrimp (HEY, CUT THE HEIGHT JOKES!!!)