TIME OF THE LEMMINGS

It's already old news that the lemmings have spoken. But now that they've elected Arnold Schwarzenegger as governator of Culifornia, what's next? Running Clint Eastwood for president? Re-animating Sylvester Stallone and running him for senator? That's too obvious. How about doing something really subtle. Let's join Sen. Orrin Hatch's campaign to amend the constitution so Arnold can run for president.

When the world's most famous bodybuilder-turned-action-hero first ingratiated himself with the Republican Party -- "Hello," he said. "I'm Conan the Republican" -- people thought he was tongue-in-cheek clever. When he married Maria Shriver, they thought he was a helluva lot cleverer. By feeding the lemmings what they wanted yesterday -- a "not-Gray-Davis" android with a household name -- he's proved yet again how clever he is, finally transforming himself into what another writer once presciently called "a large Austrian male Statue of Liberty." Nothing could be more oxymoronic, unless it's a compassionate conservative.

Postscript: The virtual Frank Sinatra has a cold. His 40-foot-high, three-dimensional image has run into technical problems. Producers of "Sinatra: His Voice. His World. His Way." -- a special-effects extravaganza designed to re-animate the crooner -- have postponed tonight's debut at Radio City Music Hall in New York. But the show will go on, beginning Tuesday. Following the engagement, Sinatra may run for mayor.

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