I have the following predictions about the State of the Union address. But most of them will not come true.
G.W. Bush will start the show (because it is entertainment, if it was real, they would let you vote) with the MC5 performing “Kick Out The Jams”.
Then he will rip off his face to reveal his real face – Saddam, who will then rip off his face to reveal he is a lizard alien overlord.
But you already know that.
By the way, if they announce the SotU Address will only be on pay per view, y’know all that shit you have in the garage from Y2K, now would be a good time to start assessing it.