what was i expecting, watching star wars ep III tonight? nothing, for one. and nothing i got. which was what i was expecting, i guess. or not expecting. know what i mean?
i thought rottentomatoes’ aggregate score would agree with me, but it didn’t, because it’s pronounced the film 83% fresh by critics. and perhaps i’m just not with it enough to get the beauty of the giant space opera epic, but seriously… what happened there?
i tried really hard, i promise i did, not to be too judgmental or set any hopes high. but when samuel l. jackson’s character took a zillion years to kill the evil sith master lord person, you just know he’s asking to be killed. there he is, poised above the enemy with his light saber (wow did that sound kind of weird taken out of context? uh.) and he’s standing there going, “okay, i’m going to kill you now,” and “aaaaanytime now, watch it!” and “your time has come, darth blahblah,” and “say your prayers… hasta la vista evil sith thing!”
so when he finally is killed, (i’m not spoiling this for anyone, it’s too obvious, trust me) you practically breathe a sigh of relief so that he can stop thinking up empty threats.
i like the bit where natalie portman and hayden christensen (you can tell by how i can’t use their character names that i really wasn’t getting into it) declare their love for each other, the string section playing in the background. it goes something like:
him: you’re so beautiful
her: only because i’m so in love with you.
him: no, only because i’m so in love with you.
huh? if i were her, i would’ve walked over and slapped him and forbade him from stealing anymore lines from me. but i might’ve said “all the better to eat you with,” to begin with, to avoid the entire hallmark-reject moment anyway, i reckon.
and really, what he said after that isn’t all that flattering, is it? like…
him: uhh… actually, you aren’t that good looking. only that i’m so in love. so i’m biased. so your looks are more a projection of my affection in my mind’s eye, and i’m actually truly in love with whatever i think i’m in love with. which means that i’m pretty much in love with myself and my beautiful thought processes. uh huh uh huh.