Home / Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith – Of Course the Sith is Pissed

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith – Of Course the Sith is Pissed

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Alienware High-Performance Systems

what was i expecting, watching star wars ep III tonight? nothing, for one. and nothing i got. which was what i was expecting, i guess. or not expecting. know what i mean?

i thought rottentomatoes’ aggregate score would agree with me, but it didn’t, because it’s pronounced the film 83% fresh by critics. and perhaps i’m just not with it enough to get the beauty of the giant space opera epic, but seriously… what happened there?

i tried really hard, i promise i did, not to be too judgmental or set any hopes high. but when samuel l. jackson’s character took a zillion years to kill the evil sith master lord person, you just know he’s asking to be killed. there he is, poised above the enemy with his light saber (wow did that sound kind of weird taken out of context? uh.) and he’s standing there going, “okay, i’m going to kill you now,” and “aaaaanytime now, watch it!” and “your time has come, darth blahblah,” and “say your prayers… hasta la vista evil sith thing!”

so when he finally is killed, (i’m not spoiling this for anyone, it’s too obvious, trust me) you practically breathe a sigh of relief so that he can stop thinking up empty threats.

i like the bit where natalie portman and hayden christensen (you can tell by how i can’t use their character names that i really wasn’t getting into it) declare their love for each other, the string section playing in the background. it goes something like:

him: you’re so beautiful
her: only because i’m so in love with you.
him: no, only because i’m so in love with you.

huh? if i were her, i would’ve walked over and slapped him and forbade him from stealing anymore lines from me. but i might’ve said “all the better to eat you with,” to begin with, to avoid the entire hallmark-reject moment anyway, i reckon.

and really, what he said after that isn’t all that flattering, is it? like…

him: uhh… actually, you aren’t that good looking. only that i’m so in love. so i’m biased. so your looks are more a projection of my affection in my mind’s eye, and i’m actually truly in love with whatever i think i’m in love with. which means that i’m pretty much in love with myself and my beautiful thought processes. uh huh uh huh.

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About Victoria Ho

  • silvario

    An awful film, i left after the babies were born, i couldn’t stomach the rest. the worst is when the sith walks up to darth vader who is scorched lying on the ground, very clumbsy sceen. and when darth vader comes out from the operating table, cheesy 1950’s horror, think frankinstien B movie. i thought that ed wood was the worst director of all time, i guess i was wrong…

  • 🙂 i know episodes 4-6 were stiff and everything as well, but to put those in perspective for the time, they were pretty impressive. i think we fell in love with the impressive space opera epic idea which was novel at the time — not to mention ambitious. as for the cheesy dialogue that came along with it, it was, i feel, *forgiven*, rather than loved for itself, along with the entire series.

    i guess as time goes by, as more is expected of special effects and film making strategies, we come to expect more of actors and directors, too. i like that he stayed faithful to the original series with the screen wipeouts and so forth, but i didn’t think the acting and dialogue needed to be… well, *that* faithful.

  • I’m sorry, but did you actually watch episodes 4-6. I mean really, really watch them…
    They are full of whiny acting and dreadful dialougue, yet we fell in love with them anyway. Granted George tested the faith of fans everywhere with some parts of Episodes I and II however I feel as if he delivered in a big way on this one. Try to put it in to perspective. He had a lot of loose ends to tie up, and why was that? His audience already knew the ending. Not an easy task and he made it look very easy.

  • Wow. You guys are rough. Sure, I agree that the Anakin/Padme scenes were the weakest thing in the movie, but there was SO much more going on.

    As far as Jackson’s character killing Sidious, he was struggling with the decision. He knew it needed to be done but it went against everything he stands for. If you recall that sort of decision was one more nail in the “Anakin goes to the Dark Side” coffin.


  • Mike Drips

    You are right on the money. This was the WORST Star Wars film of all time. I love Star Wars and I was SO disappointed with the dreadful dialog and acting. The movie I admit started off slow, then got slower and slower and dumber and dumber until it finally ground to a halt and you left the theatre feeling neutral about the whole film. What version did all these national critics see that has them all atwitter? A private showing at George Lucas’ ranch with women, drugs and bags of cash? Whew! Pretty scary seeing this dog get such high ratings. By comparison Episodes I and II were cinema classics. This movie actually will make you long for Jar Jar Binks to return to the screen for more than the 3 second shot he had in this film.

  • Funniest… review… of SWEIIIROTS… ever!