Cue up a home improvement show on the DVR or VCR. Be sure to pause during a step-by-step instruction.
Now it's late afternoon; here are your options:
- Byron Nelson golf tourney (CBS): Tiger's not playing, despite what we said on the Blogcritics Sports Treehouse Fort podcast. 'Nuff said; this one's filler.
- Corning Classic LPGA golf tourney (Golf Channel): This is the last time they're playing this tournament with rich traditions. Even better filler.
- Baseball (4 pm ET, FOX): Most will see Philly/NYY; Texas will see their teams battle. As BC Sports chief Matt Sussman points out, check for Joe Buck before listening; he's like the droning uncle you're trying to avoid this weekend.
Since the baseball's on FOX, this is lawnmower time. Be sure to bang metal against metal occasionally, curse rarely, and stomp back into the house dramatically for another beer and another tool during commercial breaks.
Saturday Evening
- Baseball (check your local listings)
- Pittsburgh/Carolina NHL Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 (7:30 pm ET, Versus)
- Los Angeles/Denver NBA WC Finals Game 3 (8:30 pm ET, ABC)
- UFC 98 (PPV)
Call up the home improvement show and have it poised. When your family walks into the room, switch to it and study it carefully. Take notes in horrible handwriting. Look puzzled and rewind occasionally.
When they exit, you're switching between the hockey and basketball games. You do not want to miss this.
If you're watching UFC 98, just switch over. Look, it's showing up on your bill next month; you'll just have to take the hit on that one. Hopefully, you've looked busy enough to deserve a break.
Sunday Morning
Didja drink too much last night? Need an excuse to drink at 10 am to feel better? Here's sports that traditionally are enjoyed with booze but start early because they're in Europe:
- French Open
- Formula 1 - Grand Prix of Monaco
- English Premier League (final weekend of the season)
Find them down your cable subscription channels and enjoy them while telling your family you can't go to church because you're not feeling well from too much sun exposure yesterday.







Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
"Various small tools"
But Tuffy, how do I go about obtaining my own Bob Costas?
2 - Tuffy
Someone discards theirs every few years.