World Cup Themed Vibrators Upset Oliver Kahn, Michael Ballack - Page 2

Had Beate Uhse introduced the 9" Ollie K with attachments, rechargeable batteries, lube, and a multiple orgasm guarantee, Kahn would have sanctioned an autographed "limited edition" to be sold in his honor. And his cheesing, brutish face would have been on the bloody box complete with two thumbs up and some quote like "Now you can take ME home!" Bah.

I'm not much of a legal type, so I don't know if the request for injunction will be approved. The surnames of the players aren't used, the "products" aren't fashioned after the players' bodies in any way, and as far as I can tell, no pictures of the players are associated with the marketing.

But if Kahn and Ballack's request is granted and Beate Uhse has to cease and desist with the soccer vibrato, fans interested in "support-minded" pleasure can happen over to various English shops that are selling the "Victory Vibe." According to the website, it'll keep the ladies left at home during the World Cup shouting, "Goooooooooooooooooooal!!"

My God. Something about that is just so, so wrong. That said, with Wayne Rooney's likely absence, the English will need something to keep their spirits up.

Article Author: Flash Warner

Flash Warner spends her day as a speed and conditioning coach for a random university, which affords her with many hours of free time to make shallow, fairly obvious observations on life and sport.

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