Why Not Phone It In? An NFL Sideline Conundrum - Page 2

Author: TuffyPublished: Nov 26, 2007 at 9:56 am 3 comments

Why would ESPN bother? It would go a long way to work on their image as a rather nasty place for female employees by wiggling their way onto the Working Mother Best Companies list. It might shame the NFL that the job they've relegated sideline reporters to could be done from anyone's living room.

(Honestly, the "field level flavor + babeosity" equation the NFL has reduced national sideline reporters to could be covered with four more gratuitous cheerleader shots each game. The hiring of Lisa Guerrero failed only for its brutal honesty.)

Most of all, though, it sets up Belichick for their next Monday night game on December 3rd. Have Tafoya ambush The Big Hoodie at halftime and jam a camera and a monitor in his face with the glowing Kolber on the other end. "Hey, Bill... Suzy Kolber has a few questions about your second half adjustments. Got a moment?"

As Bill inevitably looks confused, flustered, and then angered, he will march off the field petulantly. Leave it to Tony Kornheiser to point out that Belichick would kick a pregnant woman out of the way and let the NFL fine the snot out of Disney. The ratings boost across the Worldwide Leader's phalanx of networks and artificial drama carryover would pay for the fine by Wednesday morning.

If the NFL really hates the move, ESPN can follow CBS' lead and pull their sideline reporters. I'm sure Kolber and Tafoya would contribute solid reporting before and after the game without access to a field that yields them almost no benefits. Also, they'd be free of the ludicrous restrictions placed on them as soon as they accept the sideline pass.

Of course, that will leave Andrea Kremer all alone on the sidelines, staring blankly into the camera. In the end, it doesn't sound like much of a gamble at all.

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Tuffy cares about you. While others have neglected you, Tuffy has not forgotten you. Just lie back and think of Tuffy. Tuffy keeps his work at Refrigerator Logic at 40 degrees F.

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Article comments

  • 1 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Nov 26, 2007 at 10:18 am

    I'm all for Jaworski breaking down Kolber's sonogram.

  • 2 - Tuffy

    Nov 26, 2007 at 10:20 am

    Kolber is not letting a coaches' camera near her.

  • 3 - RJ

    Nov 26, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    Andrea Kremer didn't want to talk to Wes Welker anyway. She would have preferred to gaze longingly into Brady's eyes, while standing in a puddle.

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