Daisuke Matsuzaka - Boss George Bible: 1 John 4:9 - "In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Matsuzaka-san into the Harbor, that we might win through him."
Hideki Okajima - Boss George Bible: 1 John 4:10 - "When that went pear-shaped in September and October, God sent his newly begotten Okajima-san into the Harbor, that we might win through him instead. And don't mess it up."
Jonathan Papelbon - "The 2007 Red Sox were the best experience of my life. And now, they're all gone. And I miss every one of them. Why me? Why did I live so long? They're all dead... I'll tell you why. Because I'm a dancer!"
Curt Schilling - God wants Schilling to wear a iron-on photo of Him on his champagne-soaked T-shirt in the World Series champion locker room.
Mike Timlin - God and Timlin went to summer camp together, so He's kinda rooting for Li'l Mikey.
Tim Wakefield - Tim was their camp counselor. Unfortunately, throwing a baseball six billion times at a speed slower than an old lady on her way to Tuesday morning Latin Mass has left its toll on his shoulder; Tim is off the Series roster in favor of...
Kyle Snyder - ...so don't screw it up, son; Ceiling God is watching you pitch.
Catchers
Doug Mirabelli - How do you know Doug's important to the bigger plan? He got a police escort to Fenway Park. Only very important people get police escorts. Heck, Jesus never got police escorts. (Well, once.)
Jason Varitek - God's not immune to that granite chin or broad shoulders or that thick, sturdy trunk that helps him weather those long summer nights... what? God can't show a little pride in His work?
Infielders
Alex Cora - God can't allow Joey Cora to have a World Series ring and not Alex. God always fought with His older brother, too.
Eric Hinske - God forgot there was a team in Canada still. His bad. Will a ring make it better?
Mike Lowell - Remember Lowell's miserable 2005 season? Remember how that got him traded to the Red Sox along with Josh Beckett? Who could have arranged that in time to get Lowell on this team to have his best seasons yet? Who could that be? Could it be... JESUS??
Article comments
1 - Benjamin Pray
Very funny stuff...the Shilling line kills me and Stuart...
2 - Michael J. West
Between the BoSox pennant and the Yankees' offseason, winning the World Series would merely be the icing on the cake at this point. :-)
3 - Bill from LA
God has nothing to do with who wins the game. I do know from what I have read acroos the country that the Red Sox fans are more childish than the Yankee fans. Maybe thats just an East Coast thing. Bad Sports Fans. Its only a game. I believe it only took Boston 92 years to win a World Series compared to their big brother, the Yankees who have won 26 World Series to date.
4 - C
God has nothing to do with who wins the world series, pro cancer? are you serious? You are the reason I hate the redsox.
5 - Mary K. Williams
First of all, this was a SATIRE. Even this Christian gets it. Although the cancer comment was questionable, over all - the piece was done for fun.
It must be said though, no one here in Boston says 'BoSox'.
6 - Mark Saleski
no one here in Boston says 'BoSox
...or "beantown" either.
just sayin'