They'll tell you the stench of '08 is gone and they're looking forward to the 2009 season. They'll talk about their new swagger, which may or may not be Paxil-aided. Whatever the mindset, the Lions are on a terrible losing streak as a franchise, and I'm not talking about the 16 games last year (17 dating back to 2007), or even the fact that they haven't had a winning record since 2000. They've been on a 50-year losing streak, ever since they traded away Hall of Fame quarterback Bobby Layne.
Many scholars and augurs state that, with the 50th and final year of the curse being 2008, the 51st season will be one of rebirth and success. And what better way to measure success than by just trying to win a single game? Percentage wise, their record would improve by infinity with a single win, the largest such improvement since the NFL moved to a 16-game schedule. Now, the trick is to figure out where that win would occur:
WEEK 1: AT NEW ORLEANS — The Saints are in freefall. With Reggie Bush as the feature back, their top non-passing play will be him running around the backfield in the outline of Prince's old name. The Lions get the simian-like alien off their back by winning the first game of the season.
WEEK 2: VS. MINNESOTA — Okay, so last week didn't go so well. But last year the closest they came to victory was against the Vikes at home. Only a questionable pass interference kept the automatic garage door stuck halfway down. This could be the week the Lions finish what they started. (Actually, strike that. Poor cliche for this team.)
WEEK 3: VS. WASHINGTON — The Lions haven't beaten the 'Skins since 2000 by the score of 15-10, as kicker Jason Hanson's trusty foot accounted for all the points. Hanson is still a staple of the Lions offense (21-of-22 field goals in '08, perfect from 50+ yards away), and will be around for perhaps four more years. History repeats itself as Hanson kicks maybe four or five of his patented consolation prizes for stalled drives, scoring more than enough for Detroit.