Even the most well-oiled machines sometimes need repair. Oftentimes, this is because machines need more than oil to work, silly. Anyway, the Cardinals went 3-4 last week, but it felt worse. Mediocre starting pitching and questionable moves by the manager will make any one-run victory seem a little less than worth it. The games continue.
Game 26 vs. Phi., L 6-1: It doesn't feel good to lose by the same score two nights in a row. It especially hurts when you lose by five runs two nights in a row. Kyle Lohse was not sharp to say the least. He allowed a home run to Jayson Werth and a grand slam to Missouri State Bear Ryan Howard. In the eighth inning, Rick Ankiel did a 40-yard dash in a 30-yard room. As he was immobilized and carted off the field, Ankiel took all interest in the game with him. Fortunately, Ankiel retained all movement in his extremities, but would never grow a stellar mustache ever again.
Game 27 vs. Phi., L 10-7: Losing a two game series to the Fightins isn't the end of the world, but when the Cards throw their two best pitchers for both those games, you kind of hope they pull one of those games out. Jayson "Yes, it's spelled that way because I hit dingers" Werth hit a three-run dinger to mark the turning point of the game from "kinda winnable" to "what else is on TV." Wainwright was inefficient and issued too many walks and forwarded too many repeat memos to run his business successfully.
Game 28 vs. Pit., W 2-4: As I've stated before, the Pirates are a cure-all solution for the Cardinals. They're like the Flintstones vitamins of the NL Central. If the Cards could somehow play them every other series, the playoffs would be a shoe in. His Lordship Pujols takes his vitamins on a regular basis, and his metabolism makes them doubly effective. He went 4-4 with a tater tot in the first. Chris Duncan hit a two-run triple in the fourth. After the game, Duncan gave my favorite quote of the year. "I hit it really good." You sure did, big guy.
Game 29 vs. Pit., W 2-5: Colonel Wellemeyer finally pitched the way he pitched last year, which was sufficient. Jason LaRue used his mustache-mullet combo to power a ball over the outfield wall. Pirate pitcher Ross Ohlendorf (that can't be real) bean balled His Lordship and Ludwick in a row. This allowed Duncan to hit a ball really good for an RBI and Khalilbot processed the action, repeated it, and knocked in another run.
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
But did the mustache break Ankiel's fall? You didn't address this. At the very least did it make a cool, trendy, rebellious sound as he hit the wall?
2 - Brian Kist
He was mustache-naked (indecent, if you will) at the time of the accident. He probably could have avoided some injury if he had had the wind drag provided by a mustache.