Unfortunately, all competitors must submit to drug testing, which will eliminate the world's best arm wrestlers (steroids), roller skaters (crack), and cheerleaders (helium).
This brings me to the main point of this post.
There is a well-established, long-running competitive sport that I would like to be the first to propose for inclusion in the next Olympics.
This contest is a fierce test of both men and women's physical strength, originality, coordination, stamina, and discipline. The sport includes a strict set of rules and an international body with international championships, featuring contestants from around the globe.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the next great Olympic competition...
Air Guitar!
The woman in the above photo is MiRi "Sonyk Rok" Park who won the National Title in this year's USA Air Guitar Championships for her performance of Van Halen's excellent "Hot for Teacher."
(Contrary to rumors, Miri "Sonyk Rok" Park is not my alter-ego, although we both apparently buy our underwear at Sanrio.)
Check out video clips at the AIR GUITAR USA website. You can also peruse their strict rules.
While Ms. Park may be the American champion, she has a long road ahead before she can claim global domination.
This week, she will be representing the United States in the Ninth Annual Air Guitar World Championships in Finland.
She faces fierce competition from Australia, Belgium, New Zealand, Norway, Austria, the Netherlands, Finland, France, Germany, Ireland and the United Arab Emirates.
It's a shame, however, that this global showdown is in Finland and not in Athens as part of the Olympics.
Imagine how fresh it would be to see an American win the gold medal and perform air guitar, Hendrix-style, to the Star Spangled Banner.
Sadly, I will have to wait until at least Beijing 2008 before I can scream, Rock On, USA!
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
J, more prime hilarity! But seriously, inclusion in the Olympics might actually diminish air guitar, which in its purest form IS A WAY OF LIFE
2 - Marika
I second that!
Although I must say that you are not unfortunately the first to suggest air guitar as a Olympics sport -the organiser of the Dutch air guitar competition has actually sent an official letter to the International Olympic Committee asking "would it be possible for our sport to become part of the Olympic movement". AND he received an answer from the committee, too...They didn't really comment to the suggestion, just thanked him for the interest : ). These letters and more about air guitar can be read at the book "De lucht tussen mijn vingers" (only in Dutch, I'm afraid) -some info also at Dutch air guitar site: http://www.air-guitar.nl/boek.html.
3 - Ania
I probably would have felt the same way, up until a year ago when I actually took up Ballroom/Latin American Dance.
I have been an athlete since the age of five (I'm 18 now) and I was about to get into the Paralympics at the age of twelve (yes, the PARAlympics). The first time I started dancing felt really bad and I knew that there had to be something that I could do to make this easier and smoother. I was right, I had the wrong techniques and I also wasn't very in tune with the music.
That part took a lot of training, sweat and tears because you have to develop strong muscles all over you body and fine tune your listening skills.
To me sport is not about wearing uniforms or beating the other guy. It's about what you can do to push yourself to the limit physically and enjoying yourself while doing so.
In swimming the only thing you really have to do is some kind of arm motion such as the freestyle/backstroke/breast/butterfly and just speed up you movements. You just have to develope more muscle strength to do so while in DANCING you have train all parts of your body for several different things and it takes a lot of practice and determination.
Thats my opinion, Im really interested in what others have to say about this so you can email me