Somebody better warn Gene Hackman to bolt the doors and lock his windows, folks - because The Transylvania Times-Herald is reporting (from this Fisher-Price computer) that "Frankencouch" is storming the steroids countryside (and looking to toss any upstart bloggers down the well, as well - Zoinks!).
Oh, Tim Couch, what has become of you? The former "cautionary tale" from the "new" Cleveland Browns has now been allegedly linked to steroids, according to Yahoo! News.
And, to add insult to injury, the casting Couch has recently been released by the Jacksonville Jaguars in another futile attempt at an NFL comeback.
You kind of have to feel sorry for the guy, though, because the Cleveland organization (at the time) was partly (mostly) responsible for turning this former franchise quarterback into "Hamburger Helper" during his sad stint with the Browns.
Still, you cannot blame Couch for doing anything within his means to rejuvenate his career with the NFL - but the stuff he has been accused of sounds downright spooky (if not unethical). And, hey, you cannot take the torches to the castle, so to speak, with Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa - while simply letting Couch sit out on the curb.
Sure, I have used “supplements” to gain any advantage over my sassy Bowling Green State University counterparts here at Blogcritics Magazine - but unlike the NFL, I’m not sure how much the SPJ (Society of Professional Journalists) “frowns upon” the use of “MGD” - as opposed to HGH - in regards to pseudo-sports journalism. (Sigh, maybe The Church of Scientology will embrace me instead, huh? I'm kidding! Please don't contact me, whack-jobs!)
Regardless, perhaps “Hip Hop Abs with Shaun T” would have been a better approach (on both counts). But, all crocodile tears aside, I always wanted Tim Couch to succeed with the Cleveland Browns in the NFL - nothing “Abby Normal” about that, right?
The Couch won some great games behind an offensive line that would, quite frankly, make Swiss cheese blush here in Cleveland. While people were crying for Ricky Williams in their Browns’ backfield, the “bride of Mike Ditka” was too busy munching on Cool Ranch Doritos for the New Orleans Saints (Um, if my short-term memory serves me correctly).
Article comments
1 - Chris McVetta
And, just like Homer Simpson, I strangle with love!
2 - Igor
Anyone notice how Notre Dame is doing without Brady Quinn as quarterback?
Maybe the Browns and Romeo Crennel should take notice too how this guy can carry a team on his (hunch) back.
This is not your Dr. Frankenstein's monster!