A partial transcript of this week's Treehouse Fort featuring Alex Remington from Chop-N-Change and the Huffington Post.
Tuffy: The NBA's game officials have come under fire for questionable calls all week, including two ejections of Ron Artest and a failed foul call that allowed Carmelo Anthony to score the game winner Saturday. In response, the NBA will institute a new officiating system that allows fans to text their votes for each possession to the league with all votes counting. In further response, Mark Cuban just bought Alltel.
Suss: The sports world was devastated by news of one of America's greatest living sports legends failing a drug test, resulting in an immediate suspension. Nobody saw it coming, and experts say it was the last person they expected. Nevertheless, NASCAR will move on from the loss of Jeremy Mayfield.
Tuffy: Lance Armstrong has written a new book in which he blames Sheryl Crow's biological clock for their failed relationship. Omitted is his repeated attempts to replace her blood with that of a 26-year-old model.
Suss: Turning to hockey news, the NHL Playoffs on the Versus Network have worse ratings than ESPN's coverage of the College World Series, pro bowling, and the Little League World Series. In an attempt to increase viewership, Versus has reached a deal with several major cable companies to superimpose a glowing blue comet around Versus's spot in the channel listings.
Tuffy: Breaking news... Brett Favre is coming back! ... for seconds at the Golden Corral surf 'n turf night.
Suss: And finally, a village in Colorado is trying to protect themselves from a growing population of coyotes by using paintball guns. They say this will be more effective than killing them because it is more humane, will deter excessive reproduction, and will hopefully convince the coyotes to relocate to Southern Ontario.
Charlie Doherty's "What Were They Thinking?"
1) Manny Ramirez, for — what else — failing a PED test, resulting in a 50-game suspension
2) CBS golf analyst David Feherty, for violent comments about Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid
3) John Tesh and his "rap-dribble-dance" $20,000 video contest
4) Rafer Alston, for slapping Eddie House on the head in Eastern Semis Game 2
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