College football bowl season begins Tuesday with the New Orleans bowl and lasts 16 days through January 4 with the Rose Bowl.
With 28 bowl games, 56 teams aim to end the season with a win. And certainly not everyone has the time to watch 60 minutes from every bowl game.
But how about five lines of poetry?
Now that bowl season is about to get underway, here are 28 profound limericks, one for each game, hopefully to whet your appetite for the next two weeks.
(While I make predictions in most of the limericks, please don't whip out your angry sticks quite yet. Admittedly I am wrong more than I'm right, and more often than not I made a prediction simply because it was easier to put in prose.)
(All times eastern)
Wyndham New Orleans Bowl
December 20
8 p.m. - ESPN
Cajun Field, Lafayette, La.
Southern Missouri (6-5)
vs. Arkansas State (6-5)
Bowl season starts in Lafayette
Where Southern Miss is a safe bet
To annihilate
Poor Arkansas State
'Cause Sun Belt teams are never a threat
GMAC Bowl
December 21
8 p.m. - ESPN
Ladd Peebles Stadium - Mobile, Ala.
Texas-El Paso (8-3)
vs. Toledo (8-3)
Toledo and UTEP will clash
Both teams can score points in a flash
I went to BG
So I must agree
That UTEP will kick UT's ass
Pioneer Pure Vision Las Vegas Bowl
December 22
10:30 p.m. - ESPN
Sam Boyd Stadium - Las Vegas, Nev.
Brigham Young (6-5)
vs. California (7-4)
Cal-Berkeley is my pick to win
The game in the City of Sin
Though BYU's fine
They're just 6-5
Plus, Vegas ain't fit for a Mormon
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
December 22
8 p.m. - ESPN2
Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego, Calif.
Colorado State (6-5)
vs. Navy (7-4)
The Navy team runs the ball great
(Best in the country, they rate)
Please pardon the pun
But the seamen will run
All over Colorado State
Fort Worth Bowl
December 23
8 p.m. - ESPN
Amon G. Carter Stadium - Fort Worth, Texas
Kansas (6-5)
vs. Houston (6-5)
A typical 'O' vs. 'D' theme
With two teams not very mainstream
Houston scores early
'Cause Kansas is surely
Concerned 'bout their basketball team
Article comments
1 - DJRadiohead
Suss, you are a very sick man.
This is very well done, sir. Even some of your picks are right!
ROLL TIDE!
2 - Matthew T. Sussman
DJRadiohead,
Thanks. You wouldn't believe how long some of those rhymes took to brew up.
Your friendly neighborhood Caucasian,
--Suss
3 - DJRadiohead
I can certainly believe how long some of those took.
You just needed to find a way to make a 1-900-MikePrice rhyme in the UTEP game. Otherwise it was perfect.
Your friendly Crimson Tide fan,
---DJRadiohead
4 - Matthew T. Sussman
A Mike Price punchline? Too easy.
Besides, Toledo coach Tom Amstutz is morbidly obese, and since I'm a BG grad it's more fun to take shots at UT football.
We like to do that the years they beat us. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Especially in years we lose in double overtime, and don't go to a bowl despite being 6-5.