So the Titans had to go to the trouble of getting a court order to prevent Pacman from wrestling. As a result, Pacman's wrestling debut consisted of him getting jumped and sucker punched and covered in fake blood before his first match so he couldn’t enter the ring. Which begs the question: Does his entourage understand that wrestling isn’t real? I hope so, or his next wresting event may include an actual drive-by shooting.
Pacman was the most fascinating scandal of the summer. One for the ages. Of all people, Pacman brings to mind Mike Tyson: a semi-cogent personality capable of saying and doing just about anything at any time. They would be the highest in unintentional comedy if people didn't actually get hurt (a woman raped in Tyson's case; a man paralyzed in Pacman's). But even Pacman couldn't take the crown in this year's off-season follies. The Hiroshima level scandal of the summer belonged to founder and proprietor of Bad Newz Kennels.
Mike Vick is not without his own checkered past. Snarky types such as Yours Truly still occasionally refer to him as Ron Mexico, in reference to the fake name he gave the doctor who was treating him for the herpes with which he managed to infect at least one woman. He then infamously flipped off some home town fans on his way off the field in full view of the cameras. Next he was caught by TSA with a false bottomed water bottle with a secret compartment that contained a certain "residue." His personal charisma and flashy play have helped him out and kept most everyone — meaning the NFL, Nike, the Falcons administration — firmly in his corner, but kiss that goodbye now. Mikey is in deep, deep, deep doggie doo (snicker).
Here is a guy who not five years ago was heralded as a revolutionary force in football. No QB before him ever got more dangerous after the pocket broke down. He was a living highlight reel with moves as astounding as Michael Jordan. He was going to posterize defensive players from one end of the league to the other. Of course, the problem was that he wasn't very good at the standard QB stuff, so defenses had plenty of cushion to make adjustments. Still a few times a year he would do something spectacular and everyone would say, "Gosh, if the Falcons could just figure out how to take advantage of his awesome skill, they’d be instant contenders." 2007 might have been the year it happened. The plan was to allow him to free lance and audible as needed. It's conceivable that he really could have put it all together and had the killer year everyone thought he had in him.
Article comments
1 - RJ
Ah! Welcome back Mr. Mazzotta.
I full anticipate predicting every single game, every single week this NFL season, for the third year in a row. My goal this year is to thrash Theismann so badly in the weekly picks that he retires from ESPN with a compound fracture to his manhood. Also, I want to make Merril Hoge cry on live national television.
I'm somewhat unsure which of these goals is more realistic.
2 - Tinkerbell
One can only hope that Vick is subject to the same treatment to which he subjected those poor dogs...fighting to the death, electrocution, rape stands, starvation, chaining, maiming. And if he ever plays again and loses? Just like what he did to his dogs, may NFL fans raise his body above their heads and slam him to the ground, ending his life.
Even that would be too good for him.
3 - Matthew T. Sussman
I'm holding out for the news that there's a third Vick brother, and he's a med student or something.
The advent of Mazzotta means the football season is near. [Single tear]
4 - david mazzotta
Poor Joe is still wandering around in a daze about being booted from the Monday night booth, now RJ is out to finish him. He'll be wishing he for the good old days of Lawrence Taylor bearing down on him after this.
5 - Thomas Robinson
Well see how wrong you were, this thing with Michael Vick was more than just a misdemeanor. So could you have been wrong about anything else in this article and others you write.