If you don't believe that the USA is a super power in decline, or at least a super power that has stagnated, you need to check out the Olympics.
First, the so-called basketball Dream Team, made of NBA superstars, got its collective ass kicked by none other than teeny-tiny Puerto Rico yesterday. If we can't trounce a team from a country whose existence we basically support free of charge, then I think the Apocalypse is upon us, don't you?
Second, check out the Olympic medals leaderboard in the right column of this page. Who's grabbing all the gold?
China.
And what are the Chinese winning at so far? No, not swimming or running or other useless sports. Why waste your time with recreational sports when you can beat the world at rifle shooting, pistol shooting, and judo? They're also doing quite well in powerlifting. These skills will come in handy when China decides to literally dominate the globe, after which time the Chinese will be able to sit back and go swimming or out for a quick jog any damn place they want. Until then, they practice ass-kicking.
Check out their team medal situation here. Then check out the details of the USA medals thus far. All of them are in swimming.
What are we going to do if the Chinese come after us, swim away?
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Eric Olsen
woe to he who underestimates the YELLOW PERIL
2 - JR
Hey, since when is Puerto Rico a country?
3 - bhw
Hey, I don't know. I was just yammerin'.
4 - Justene
I second JR's question. Does anyone know why PR gets it's own team?
5 - Eric Olsen
Any autonomous country, whether ultimately supervised by another or not, can participate on its own - ie American Samoa, PR, etc, unless the "supervisor" objects, which is why we have "Chinese Taipei" instead of Taiwan, because the Chinese don't recognize its independence and insisted on the use of their approved name.
6 - JR
But I'm pretty sure Puerto Ricans don't go around trying to renounce U.S. citizenship. I think they hold U.S. passports, vote in our presidential elections, and qualify for federal government jobs. They don't seem to want independence outside of sports and naval artillery practice.
I wonder if Californians can compete under their own nationality...
7 - Shark
Also note that every friggin' swimmer, regardless of nationality, trained in the US. I think Bush needs to get involved in this drain on our resources.
re: China - this country has over a BILLION people. According to statistics alone, they've got more Mozarts, Michael Jordans, and Mark Spitzs than the rest of the world combined.
Our only hope for dominating the next Olympics is a really decent outbreak of SARS.
8 - Eric Olsen
AND it will be on their home turf, which will probably freak them out and they will do something really crazy like deep body cavity searches on all incoming tourists, or ban all computers, or drive tanks over students,or make everyone eat with chopsticks
9 - JR
re: China - this country has over a BILLION people. According to statistics alone, they've got more Mozarts, Michael Jordans, and Mark Spitzs than the rest of the world combined.
Wait a minute, the world has 6 billion people. So China should only have as many Mozarts, Jordans and Spitzs as one fifth of the rest of the world combined.
10 - Shark
JR, I missed that class. (jeez)
But um... hurmph... um.. the only other 'NATION' competitive in the population category is India. (You usin' an abacus JR?)
But anyway, forget it, for we tally splitting hairs while our White Christian Empire succumbs to the remnants of Ghenghis' atheistic, pinko horde.
sigh.
Know what... I bet we could kick their asses at shopping. Maybe we should petition to add that as an event.
11 - BB
Right on Shark. All the more reason we must stop bashing Catholics.
We need all the horny, pope-grovelling, unsafe-sex potato eaters we can get our hands on.
12 - Douglas Mays
The one thing that is showing the sign of the times is: China is leading in the medals race. Used to be just USA and USSR picking up most of the medals.
China, the sleeping giant. They are starting to wake up. Industry finds China as the future market. Their athletes are picking up steam and can compete against us so called powers.
Scary, but the Olympics really show what is going on in a nation beyond athletic ability. World standing is part of the picture. Go Iraq soccer!
peaceloveguidance
13 - RJ
The US currently has won more medals than any other country. And we have about one-quarter of China's population.
USA!USA!USA! ;)
14 - bhw
More hollow victories. We keep racking up the swimming medals, and add two team gymnastics medals. And the Chinese continue with the guns and swords.
15 - Mark Saleski
ah who care!
really, why does it matter if the medal winner is from the united states, china, norway, or japan?
i just want to see the best athlete win.
i saw the men's gymnastics and, because nbc felt the need to apply the "suspense torque", we hardly saw the japanese guys until the very end. the romanians got a lot of tv time as well.
there might have been other nations there but they were never seen.
pathetic.
16 - bhw
I haven't actually watched a single minute this year. The last time I watched the Olympics was during the whole Keri Strugg gymnastics thing a few years ago, when NBC applied the "suspense torque" [excellent name!] for an excruciatingly LONG time. The event had been over for a couple of hours before NBC showed Strugg's final vault.
They ruined the natural suspense of the competition by snipping it up and cutting away to other sports, just to keep viewers eyes on the tee-vee and the advertiser spots longer. I wrote them a letter and stopped watching.
Now I just count medals and make dopey commentary.
17 - RJ
Mark:
I wanna see the best athelete win too. And I want that best athelete to be an American!
Because, you know, I'm one crazy jingoistic right-wing motherfucker. ;)
18 - Douglas Mays
RJ, yup, the US took the medal lead today (barely). Good. China used to never rate. I guess that was the point. The world is unifying more. The medal count is much closer than say the late 60s or 70s. USA and USSR would cream everyone.
Lucky I live close enuf to Canada to get their broadcast on the CBC. If I am sick of NBC's (Nothing But Costas) point of view I'll just switch to CBUT and see what events Canada is doing well in (sync diving, other stuff). Different coverage, different angles of bombastism.
Anyway, blah, blah, blah...
peaceloveguidance
19 - RJ
Canada is blowing camel dick this Olympics thus far.
Maybe they'll do better in the Winter Games in 2006.
Where is the 2006 Winter Olympics being held, btw?
20 - Douglas Mays
RJ, well of course they won't do as well. Their entire population is 1/10 of what the USA is. That would be like Ohio State losing in football to the Sam Houston Institute of Technology (SHIT). The fact that they are placing and beating the USA (and other large countries) in some events shows alot.
Blow camel dick? You went to the Christian University of Northern Texas (CUNT), didn't you? Ugh, had to throw that one in.
Oh, Whistler's Mountain (B.C., just east of Vancouver) gets the Winter Olympics after 2006.
Anyway, blah, blah, blah...
plg
21 - Shark
RJ: "...Because, you know, I'm one crazy jingoistic right-wing motherfucker..."
Yeah -- and you make ALL Americans proud.
(In some ways, the Olympics is sorta like Iraq: one can cheer one's fellow Americans, identifying with their 'victories', pumping up the mindless nationalism, and never have to leave the safety of one's couch -- let alone learn a skill, train, work out, put oneself in harm's way, or actually suffer when someone loses.)
Feh.
22 - Shark
And another thing:
If yer lucky, SOMEDAY you MIGHT learn the profound lesson that you're a Human Being above all else -- and that you should be cheering for your species instead of some arbitrary abstraction foisted on you when some alpha--silverback male drew a line in the sand, planted a colorful piece of cloth, and wrote an anthem with notes so high that no one could sing it.
23 - Eric Olsen
Sharky, Sharky, Sharky, the human being angle is all well and good but you cant' begrudge someone rooting for their home country when the entire enterprise is set up for just that. The key to enjoying the Olympics is to find the balance between rooting for the home team and appreciating the astounding abilities, skill, determination, etc., of all the competitors and those who rise to the top in any given event.
But this isn't life and death, it's peaceful competition: that's what's so great about it. Rooting for your fellow countrymen to do their best is natural and universal.
24 - Shark
Eric, I hate it when you shower me with rational arguments. It throws me off my game.
(And that reminds me: Can I ask a personal question -- just between us? Are you on Prozac?)
25 - Eric Olsen
I appreciate those sentiments - really - I am actually on high doses of St. John's Wort, a mild mood regulator. I am actually quite moody, so it is excellent if I give the impression I am not.