Now that we're on the eve of the NCAA men's basketball tournament, I'd like to take a look back on the season that was, recognizing true greatness and utter ineptitude alike. The Jason Awards not only honor (or jeer) players but also coaches, teams, commentators, and analysts.
Best Unintentional Comedy - Mike Patrick, ESPN play-by-play guy
No one gets as excited about routine plays as Mike Patrick does: "I don't believe what I just saw! That was incredible! Taurean Green caught the in-bounds pass, dribbled up the court, and then had the presence of mind to make a 15-foot pass to a wide open Brewer on the wing! Unreal! That guy has the heart of a lion!"
Because Patrick gets so wound up over ordinary plays, he doesn't have an extra gear for when something genuinely remarkable happens. I've thought, though, that having Mike Patrick announce everything you do throughout a work day would make your job sound decidedly more enthralling: "Middlekauff tallied up the students' test scores without even using a calculator for basic subtraction! Amazing! And then he had the presence of mind to enter the grades in the computer! Lots of teachers grade things, but nobody makes it look as easy as Middlekauff! That guy is special!"
The Erin Andrews Award - The Memphis Tigers
For those of you who may not know, Erin Andrews is a courtside reporter for ESPN that has developed quite a cult following for her looks. Now, Andrews is a pretty attractive woman, but I don't think under normal circumstances that most men would deem her a bombshell. So why all the fuss about her? Simply put, although she may not look like a Hollywood starlet, she's certifiably hot compared to most female sideline reporters.
And that brings me to Memphis. Memphis has a good team — lots of athletes, an imposing shot blocker, solid team chemistry — but they amassed their 30-3 record by feasting on woefully undermatched Conference USA opponents. I suspect Memphis won't come out looking as beautiful after the NCAA Tournament.
Article comments