I’ve seen Travis Hafner, The Incredible Pronk, “hulk out” and smash any “puny humans (and pitchers)” that get in his way. And Roger Clemens? Give me a break: I’ll take C.C. Sabathia or Fausto Carmona any day!
And you call us cursed? We may build automobiles here in Cleveland that make Fred Flintstone’s car look revolutionary. But it’s the Cavaliers and Pistons that are currently battling for a chance at an NBA championship, ladies and gentlemen, not those damn Yankees.
And while George Steinbrenner is busy fretting over his big-budget bust in New York, the Cleveland Indians and the Detroit Motor City Kitties are the hottest thing in baseball right now. The “wild card” in the American League is coming out of the Central - not the Bronx (with all their fancy European man-bags and stuff!).
Sorry, but as a native Clevelander, I like my irony served to me like my beer: ICE COLD. I’ll take my “feeble victories” where I can get them. Sure, we’ve got more professional sports teams in town than we do championships - and something called “The Lake Erie Monsters“ lurking on the horizon - but who else outside of Roswell, New Mexico can say that?
Here’s some “news” for you, ESPN: Cleveland is the heart of rock n’ roll - and that heart is still beating (Huey Lewis told me as much).
Maybe some day it will be Brady Quinn and the Browns driving down past the Denver Broncos for their first Super Bowl win (Magic 8-ball says: “Not Bloody Likely!”).
Maybe some day Carlos Boozer will have a change-of-heart and return to Cleveland to help LeBron and the CAVS win a championship (Magic 8-ball says: “Dream On, Dumbass!”).
Maybe some day I’ll get to throw out the “opening pitch” when the Tribe plays in The World Series (Magic 8-ball says: “Larry Dolan Thinks Otherwise, Odd Ball.”).
But, damn it, you better get one thing clear when you use Cleveland as a punching bag: We punch back!
Hopefully, the “Cleveland Cadavers” remember that when they face the Detroit Pistons in these plum remaining games - because (sorry, ESPN), like the rest of Cleveland, I‘m not quite ready to roll over and play dead.
Article comments
1 - Count Dunkula
Jordan won his first championship, I believe, at 28. Everyone needs to give this kid a break, ESPN included. LeBron's playing a lot harder than any other 22-year-old. Can you blame the occasional deer-in-headlights slump game? At 22, Jordan was in college and still studying roundball as much as his books. Geez, at 22 I was nowhere near *my* stride... unless you count being passed out on campus couches in the union as "strident." If LeBron doesn't get past Detroit this year, it will happen eventually... the question is, with or without the Cavs? And to that I say, Dan Gilbert will fork out whatever LBJ wants come contract-time. But after so many years in C-Town, will LBJ want it is the question.
Cavs by 11 tonight. And back to Auburn Hills.
2 - Frankenstuff
Hey I think Michael Wilbon referenced this article of PTI today.
3 - Chris McVetta
"Don't you people have homes-?!?"
Count Dunkula - that's GREAT!
Thanks for the feedback, kids!
4 - Frankenstuff
Actually..my bad. It got picked up by MSNBC.
5 - The Daily Planet
I think you'd better check your Superman signal watch, Jimmy...