Tank Johnson Fires Back At Probation Sentence

Part of: Around The Sports World in 30 Days

Vasco da Gama says “They don’t call him Tank for nothing…”

Have you read Tank Johnson’s new book? So, You Wanna be a Private Military Contractor. Kidding aside, I’m a strong believer in it’s the collection of the “small” stuff that lends insights into the state of our society. In deeming his 120-day sentence (for violating his probation) as being “unnecessarily harsh,” Tank reveals how being unwilling to stand up and be accountable is reaching cultish status.

This from a guy who not only hangs around with alleged crime figures and was found to be in possession of six guns and two assault rifles, but was allowed to play in the Super Bowl despite being under house arrest and not being allowed to leave the state of Illinois.

Giovanni Caboto comments, “Chris Simon is mental….”

What else to describe it? I’m on record as saying that the NHL is not stringent enough when it comes to dirty play. Not “Pig Pen” dirty but Claude Lemieux dirty. What Chris Simon did was indeed assault, but spare me the legal action talk. Let sports govern itself. We don’t need all sorts of cumquats coming in prosecuting sports violence. You never want to mix the two. The NHL has to govern itself.

Despite this, the talk all week was about whether fighting has a place in the game. Of course it does. Gary Bettman said it was so it must be right. How about the NHL crack down on cross checking from behind and the psycho stick work before we discuss how fighting should be governed or outlawed. Right?

Jacques Cartier brags, “You stupide Americans and Canadiens. Roogby is beeger than all your little sports…”

I know. Hard to believe that a Frenchman who let some of his buddies die of scurvy can be right. Here are the facts: the Rugby World Cup is the third biggest spectacle in the world (with roughly 3.5 billion spectators in 205 countries) after the Olympics and the World Cup. Cricket is mighty big too. But I don’t care.


Sir Francis Drake sympathizes, “Hey, I’m always being called a pirate even though I give back to the community…”

Everyone deserves a second chance. Even John Rocker. Come on. Was he that wrong? I can barely handle chicks with tattoos. Anyway, Tim Hardaway has expressed regret for his remarks about gay people and is willing to make amends for this. Hey, it’s not like he bought Tank Johnson’s book (see above). All things considered, Hardaway can be saved. Who will be doing the saving I don’t know.

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