Those persons who suffer from indigestion, or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true principles of eating and drinking.
-Brillat-Savarin
Now that you've had football stolen from you and your hangover has painfully commenced, why not try a moderate amount of sports gastronomy? Is that college basketball over there? Slice off a bite. NHRA drag racing? It smells pungent and looks like it was scraped off the back bumper of a '78 F-150, sure, but those stinky French cheeses can also be pretty tasty.
NBA basketball? A bit heavy for your tastes, but you don't have to eat the whole thing in one sitting. Soccer? A bit foreign to your tongue, but a few billion people might be onto something. Boxing? A classic taste, just waiting for someone to notice.
World Series of Poker? Well... let's not go cramming just any old foodstuff down your gullet, hmm?
Those baseball fans are coming, yes, and they'll be engorging themselves much the same way you just did, only pushing away from the table with great hesitation at the end of the season and scraping around the fridge for remnants of the previous feast while you're back in mid-season form. (By the way, watching the Arena Football League is like eating the baking soda in the back of the fridge to see if some of your Thanksgiving dinner leftovers might still be in there. You deserve better.)
Take this time away to sample the wares of the rest of the sports world and truly enjoy them for their own flavors and not as filler between heaping gobs of two-a-days this summer. When football returns, you'll appreciate it with a more sophisticated tongue and a broader mind. You'll enjoy football more than ever.
Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you who you are.
-Brillat-Savarin
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
I just swallowed a lot of motor oil.
2 - Tuffy
You ought to run cleanly now.