It's been a whirlwind week of trades. Sometimes it's tough to keep track of all those deals, especially if you don't bookmark MLBTrade Rumors. They've kept track of all the deals involving major league players, and in homage to the yeoman's work they've been doing, I've decided to take their summary of this week's deals and "analyze" them for you.
• The Giants acquired Ryan Garko from the Indians for a minor league pitcher on July 27th.
The Giants needed hitting, and this was an easy, cheap way to do it. The Trail of Tears was only beginning to fomulate. • The White Sox acquired outfielder Mark Kotsay and cash from the Red Sox for outfielder Brian Anderson on July 28th. My flotsam for your jetsam. • The Mariners acquired Ian Snell, Jack Wilson and cash from the Pirates for five players including Ronny Cedeno and Jeff Clement on July 29th. I've already discussed this a little, but after Friday's happenings (see: Washburn, Jarrod), I now have no clue what the Mariners are trying to accomplish, other than try to relocate the team to Oklahoma.
• The Reds acquired Wladimir Balentien from the Mariners for a minor leaguer on July 29th. Cincinnati made a bold move by ensuring their OPS doesn't get too high. • The Phillies acquired Cliff Lee and Ben Francisco from the Indians for Jason Knapp, Carlos Carrasco, Jason Donald and Lou Marson on July 29th. The trail extends eastward; Philadelphia bans all righthanded pitchers from the bullpen. Ini response, Cleveland bans all Cy Young pitchers from theirs. • The Giants acquired Freddy Sanchez from the Pirates for minor league pitcher Tim Alderson on July 29th. Not to be outdone by the Indians, the Pirates also show that they can eradicate any and all playing experience from their 25-man roster. • The Yankees acquired Jason Hirsh from the Rockies on July 29th. An unknown starting pitcher? Aw, there are no names on the back of the jerseys. Just tell 'em it's Roy Halladay and nobody'll know any difference. • The Royals acquired outfielder Josh Anderson from the Tigers for cash considerations on July 30th. Blazing speed, marginal defense, and light hitting? He'll be the team MVP! • The Dodgers acquired reliever George Sherrill from the Orioles for minor leaguers Josh Bell and Steve Johnson. By strengthening their bullpen, the Dodgers are on the brim of clinching the pennant. • The Cubs acquired pitchers John Grabow and Tom Gorzelanny for Kevin Hart, Jose Ascanio, and Josh Harrison. My knicks for your knacks. • The Tigers acquired pitcher Jarrod Washburn from the Mariners for pitchers Luke French and Mauricio Robles. I say this as an unbiased fan, but this was the best trade of the year, and perhaps in history. • The Twins acquired shortstop Orlando Cabrera from the A's for shortstop Tyler Ladendorf. Orlando goes from Oakland to Minnesota. Wasn't that a line from Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? • The Brewers acquired pitcher Claudio Vargas from the Dodgers for catcher Vinny Rottino. You might hear a lot about this trade up in Milwaukee, but actually it's much ado about nothing. • The Red Sox acquired catcher Victor Martinez from the Indians for pitchers Nick Hagadone and Justin Masterson. And with this, the Trail of Tears is complete. Cleveland will finish the season batting only seven in their lineup. Because it would be silly and against the rules to have Shin-Soo Choo go twice in a row. (See: Shadow Man Edict of 1967, The.) • The Yankees acquired Jerry Hairston Jr. from the Reds. Just tell the fans it's Adrian Gonzalez ... who suddenly learned how to play every other position except first base. • The Rockies acquired Joe Beimel from the Nationals. My tit for your tat. • The Braves acquired Adam LaRoche from the Red Sox for Casey Kotchman. This is not the first time he's been traded this month. Someone put an ankle monitor on that fella, before he gets separation anxiety from brother Andy. • The Marlins acquired Nick Johnson for minor league lefty Aaron Thompson. Nick Johnson still plays baseball? That's probably what the Nationals general manager also said on the phone. "Er, um, I mean, yeah, he's available! But you'll have to, like, give us a really good [snicker] prospect!" • The Reds acquired Scott Rolen for Edwin Encarnacion, Josh Roenicke and Zach Stewart. Remember the board game Free Parking? If not, then there were these cards you would sometimes draw wherein you have to trade cards with another player, and there's nothing you can do about it, even if it hurts you and benefits someone else. This is one of those trades for the Blue Jays. • The White Sox acquired Jake Peavy for Aaron Poreda, Clayton Richard, Adam Russell and Dexter Carter. My treasure chest full of gems for your shimmering scepter with the huge fracture in it.