Cleveland Browns 6, Seattle Seahawks 3
You want to know what the worst part about watching football on the West Coast is? It’s not the 10 a.m. games that the Seahawks have a hard time waking up for, although that’s the catalyst for the worst part.
No, the worst part is having to drink so much so early to blot some truly horrible football out of the mind, being wasted by noon with a full day of other games to watch, to stew over the missed plays, the bad calls, and the pure bile inflicted burning that comes from watching your team blow up at 10 in the morning.
And Sunday, October 23, was another day for it, ripe with opportunities that were missed worse than a deep throw by Charlie Fucking Whitehurst.
Yes, Whitehurst has earned his middle name again. It’s how he was referred to in various texts, emails, and yells at my house on Sunday. After showing positive steps against the New York Giants as a third quarter sub for an injured Tarvaris Jackson, Whitehurst took more negative steps as the starter against Cleveland.
All you fans chanting Charlie, kindly go stick your heads in a vat of acid now please. Thank you.
I tried hard not to get my hopes up but it’s hard not to with a big win on the road. The bye week only built the suspense. What would the Seahawks get from a full week to prepare for a Browns team that, honestly, was on the same level as Seattle? What would Whitehurst do with his starting chance, something I and many others felt he was screwed out of when Seattle signed Jackson and Pete Carroll named him the starter immediately?
Well, now we know. As much as Whitehurst showed in preseason and against the Giants, he showed absolutely nothing against the Browns.
Choosing a play of the game is actually difficult, with so many fiascos to choose from, and only the occasional diamond shining through. I want to go with the Sidney Rice catch down the sideline but he fell untouched out of bounds instead of scoring, so no, I won’t. I would go with the Leon Washington punt return for a touchdown but that was called back for a phantom block in the back, so no, not that one either.
Play of the Game:
For this one, I’m going with an early play, one that if this game were a movie would have foreshadowed all the crap to come.
In the first series, Seahawks receiver Ben Obomanu split the Browns safety and cornerback with a double move that left him streaking along the hash mark wide open. Whitehurst saw it and launched a wounded duck that was so bad, Obomanu had to slow down and come back to have a chance at it. The cornerback, who was five yards behind Obomanu, turned and batted the ball down, causing NFL Network analyst Jim L. Mora—yes, that same Mora who coached Seattle to a 5-11 season in 2009—to say Obomanu was well covered.